A Handful of Roses
by Mikauzoran
Summary: Kaito finds Pandora but is fatally wounded in the process. Unconscious, he wonders through a labyrinth of nightmares, guided by Hakuba, Shinichi, and Conan, among others. He struggles to hang on to life and regain consciousness, but when he does wake, how will he deal with how Pandora has changed him? (Now a multi-chapter HakuKaiShin love triangle and eventual threesome.)
1. Labyrinth of Nightmares

Mikau: Hello and welcome! Thanks so much for checking this fic out. It's…an interesting one. I plan on it being about two chapters. Hopefully you'll enjoy it.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, updates on Magic Kaito would be more regular than Detective Conan. Because heists and mayhem are easier to write than murders.

…

Labyrinth of Nightmares

It wasn't real. It simply wasn't real. It couldn't be.

Kuroba Kaito was trapped like a rat in a maze…and he didn't like mazes. He wasn't particularly fond of rats either. He'd been wondering around for hours, but he couldn't find the exit. He couldn't even remember how he had come to be in this labyrinth.

"It's just a dream," he snorted. "A freaking annoying dream that's probably supposed to be an allegory for my life or something."

He gazed up at the full moon above him, beyond the thorny maze's walls, and shouted, "I'm not learning anything from this, so you can go ahead and let me out now, Subconscious!"

"Maybe you're not trying hard enough," an obnoxiously smug voice sniggered from behind him.

Kaito whipped around and came face to face with Hakuba Saguru, not a foot away. Kaito jumped, tripping backwards and landing on his rump. "Geez! Dammit, Hakuba! Give a guy a heart attack, why don't ya?"

"Sorry," the Brit chuckled, picking a rose off of the surrounding topiary maze's wall. He took a long, appreciative sniff before turning back to Kaito. "That was never my intention." He held out his hand to assist Kaito.

Kaito snorted, ignoring the hand and getting to his feet on his own. "This dream has officially downgraded to nightmare status. Get out of my head, Hakuba."

"How rude," the blonde snickered, falling in step beside Kaito as the magician began to walk away. "I am your _guide_, Kuroba. You need me."

Kaito stopped to glare at the dream Hakuba…who was now wearing a rather fetching jade suit. When had he changed clothes? Hn.

"I don't need you," Kaito snapped.

Hakuba rolled his eyes…one of which had turned a pretty pale blue color while the other retained its stunning shade of saffron. "If you think you can find your way out of here, be my guest. I've only let you wonder around for…oh, let's just call it three hours, twenty-six minutes, and eighteen point twelve seconds."

Kaito stared blankly at his nemesis.

Hakuba smiled and held out the rose.

"I don't need you," Kaito repeated, taking the proffered flower. "…but it appears my subconscious wants me to go with you, so I'll go, if just to save time, but, for the record, I don't need you, and I could have made it out of here on my own."

"Perhaps." Hakuba reached out and took Kaito's hand. "But then you wouldn't have learned anything."

The next thing Kaito knew, they were in a moonlit courtyard in what appeared to be a convergence of the pathways in the maze. A fountain was bubbling away happily in the center, and Hakuba had changed clothes again.

Kaito was surprised to find the detective in a black tuxedo and himself in a red ball gown. And the blonde git was still holding his hand.

"I must say, you look stunning in red. It matches your lipstick."

Kaito blinked, hand going to his lips. He rubbed them together to find that there was, indeed, some kind of lipstick on them. That wasn't the only thing that had changed. He appeared to be in full drag with a long brown wig and breasts to go along with the sexy little dress.

He looked up at his rival and hissed, "What the hell, Hakuba? What gives with the cross-dressing?"

The blonde shrugged, playing innocent. "Don't ask me. Ask your subconscious. I'm not the one that put you in that dress. _You_ did."

Kaito opened his mouth to protest, but no valid argument came out. "What? Am I trying to tell myself that I'm really a woman trapped in a man's body?"

Saguru shrugged again. "You tell me. In the meantime, let's dance."

Before Kaito could object, Hakuba had him in a dance hold, and they were waltzing around the courtyard.

"Why are we doing this?" Kaito sighed, resigned to the bullying of his subconscious.

"I've always wanted to dance with you," Hakuba quietly admitted, averting his eyes.

"W-Why?" Kaito was afraid to ask. Part of him knew the answer.

"You already know why," Hakuba whispered, a bright pink blush highlighting his cheeks as he tightened his hold around Kaito's waist, pulling the startled magician closer.

"I…have no idea what you're talking about," Kaito stuttered as their bodies pressed together, thighs brushing, separated only by fabric.

"You're cruel, Kuroba," Hakuba replied quietly, looking his dance partner sorrowfully in the eye. "I called you from Paris, you know. I stole evidence for you. I took Kid's glove out of Nightmare's cold, dead hand so that they couldn't get your fingerprints from it."

Kaito gulped. "Yeah. I know. I just didn't want to think about it. Is this what this dream is supposed to be about?"

"No." Hakuba looked away once more as they turned fluidly. "…I just thought…you're truly cruel, Kuroba, knowing how I feel about you and then still flirting so shamelessly with me, even though you're not serious."

"I don't flirt—"

"—Yes, Kuroba, you do. What else, pray tell, would you call leaving me suggestive, playful notes before and after heists and all of the teasing and back-and-forth you do during the heists themselves? Didn't you blow me a kiss and wink at me the other day after you'd trapped me, hanging upside-down by my ankles?" Hakuba reminded.

"I didn't…I wasn't…" Kaito bit his lip, letting his head hang in shame. He had, hadn't he?

"You weren't serious," the detective completed the sentence gravely.

They waltzed in silence for a good five minutes thereafter, Kaito seriously evaluating his past interactions with the blonde.

"I really have been leading you on, haven't I?"

"You have," Hakuba replied emotionlessly. "Then again, false hope is better than no hope at all. I'd rather continue on the present course of our relationship than have you suddenly retreat from me. I have a feeling that I'd miss the intimacy greatly. Even if it's all a lie, I like feeling close to you…like we have a connection. I'd rather be delusional than alone."

"You're not alone, Hakuba," Kaito declared firmly.

Saguru's eyes snapped back to look into Kaito's.

"I may not feel the same way you do, but that doesn't mean I feel absolutely nothing for you. I may snap at you and prank the hell out of you, call you names and pretend that I find your mere existence to be like a thorn in my side, but take a hint, idiot: I treat Aoko the same way, and she's my best friend. What does that make you?" Kaito grumbled, a faint blush rising up on his cheeks.

Hakuba blinked. "Your…friend. I'm your friend."

"Bingo," Kaito muttered as the music came to an end.

With a smile, Hakuba released his hold, stepping back and bowing. "I shall do well to remember it, if you promise not to forget as well once you wake."

"Uh…sure." Kaito shifted awkwardly, brushing a strand of his long, silky hair behind his ear. "So…what next, Guide-san?"

"I'm afraid your time with me has come to an end." Hakuba smiled sadly, motioning to one of the paths through the bramble. "_He_ will guide you now. Do make sure to come home to me, Kuroba."

"He?" Kaito peered down the path that Hakuba had indicated, but Kaito couldn't see anyone. When he turned around to ask for clarification, Saguru was gone, and in his place stood a young boy in a blue suit and red bowtie. "T-Tantei-kun."

"Good evening, Kid-san," the shrunken detective greeted with a bow, offering the thief a blood red rose. "You look mesmerizing. Why is it you always dress up as women? Could it be that you're trying to attract a man?"

"Is that what this is about?" Kaito snorted, putting his hands on his hips. "Are you trying to insinuate that I'm gay? Maybe I just look damn good in a dress. Maybe I'm just showing off what a master of disguise I am."

"I never said you were gay," Conan laughed weakly, putting his hands up defensively. "This is your dream, Kid. _You're_ the one literally putting words in my mouth."

Kaito softly growled as he tried to rationally review the implications of his dream. Pushing it all aside, he rolled his eyes, heading towards the path that Hakuba had pointed out. "Whatever. Let's just go so that I can learn some life lesson and wake up already."

"You have to take the rose first," Conan informed, obviously resolved to not move even a step from his spot by the fountain until this task was accomplished.

Kaito frowned. "Why? Come to think of it, Hakuba gave me a yellow one with red tips too. What's up with the roses?"

Conan shook his head. "You won't find out until the end. You have to take the rose first."

Kaito sighed, pushing his hair out of his face yet again. "Fine. While we're at it, you got a ponytail holder or something? Long hair isn't agreeing with me."

"No." The child grinned cheekily. "I like you with your hair down like that. You're really pretty, Kid-san. You should take better care of yourself."

Kaito pursed his lips, holding in a snarky comment as he bent over to take the rose.

The courtyard was gone, leaving the two of them standing in the middle of the maze once more, tall walls of thorns and roses to either side with cold moonlight shinning down on them.

"What now?" Kaito sighed.

"We walk." Conan shrugged, leading the way.

"Right…. I see that my dress has changed color," Kaito observed, kind of digging the gorgeous shade of Persian blue.

"It goes with my suit." Conan shrugged, taking Kaito's now gloved hand. "Come on!"

The midget started to run, and it was all Kaito could do to avoid tripping over the hem of his new mermaid-style dress.

"Hey, what's the rush?" Kaito squawked.

"They're coming!" Conan hissed, pulling Kaito around the corner and to his knees as Conan readied his tranquilizer dart watch.

"W-Who's coming?" Kaito gulped, afraid of what exactly his mind could conjure up.

"Kaa!" came his answer.

The cry was taken up by another bird…then two…then three until a veritable murder of crows was screaming bloody murder.

It was so loud that Kaito reached up to cover his ears, but then the cries suddenly abated into an unsettling silence.

The wind picked up, and all at once the sky was filled with crows, their jet black wings blotting out the silver light of the moon.

"Get down!" Conan shouted, pouncing on Kaito and forcing the larger teen to the ground as the flock swooped like a pelican on an unsuspecting fish.

Conan shielded Kaito with his own body, but Kaito could feel the violent gust of wind as the crows flew past them, their wings slicing through the air like paper-cuts, making an audible noise.

Eventually it passed and a natural silence fell over them.

Sighing, Conan sat up and smiled weakly down at Kaito. "You okay, Kid-san?"

"I should be the one asking you! Tantei-kun, your arms are bleeding!" Kaito shrieked, scrambling to sit up and inspect the wounds.

Conan's eyes grew as wide as salad plates, catching sight of an approaching threat. "Kid-san, behind you!"

Kaito scampered to his feet and whipped around only to be paralyzed in fear. "Holy sh…" he trailed off as an enormous cobra rose up, not fifteen feet away, spreading its hood and sticking out its forked tongue.

He swept Conan off of his feet, tucking the boy unceremoniously under his arm like a football as he hiked up his dress and ran like an African track star. "Snake! Why'd it have to be Snake?!"

"Kid-san, it's gaining on us!" Conan shrieked.

"We'll gain some time rounding this corner," Kaito assured, making a sharp turn as the maze turned, doubling back the direction they had come from.

Kaito barely managed to skid to a stop as the monstrous cobra crashed through the topiary, cutting them off.

It hissed, flaring its hood menacingly and sending Kaito slowly inching backwards, a yelp of terror dying in his throat.

"Back, foul beast!" an indignant cry rang out from beyond the snake.

There was a flash of metal, and the snake's head went flying, reminding Kaito of depictions of the hydra of Greek legend. He sincerely hoped that the cobra wasn't going to regrow three heads for the one it had lost.

"Are you okay, fair maiden? …small child?" their rescuer in a blue cape and armor stepped indifferently over the cobra corpse, removing his helmet with one hand and then balancing it on his hip.

Kaito held back an offended growl at the "maiden" comment.

Conan squirmed to get free. "Shinichi-niichan!"

"I see that I've left you shocked speechless." The detective smiled charmingly, reminding Kaito of a toothpaste commercial. He held out a hot pink rose. "My name is Kudo Shinichi."

Kaito's eyebrow started to twitch. He reached out and swiped the rose out of the knight's hand. "Yeah, I'm a little shocked. I mean, I did almost just get turned into snake chow. I'm a _guy_. Don't get an inflated ego thinking it's because of you."

"You being a guy doesn't matter." Shinichi shrugged, taking Kaito by the hand and guiding him around the snake carcass. "I don't discriminate…. You look amazing in a dress, by the way."

Kaito grumbled curses under his breath.

His gown was now violet, halter-top style with a giant slit up the left side.

"It matches your eyes," Shinichi chuckled, giving Kaito's hand a squeeze.

"So…I learned that Hakuba's got a thing for me from my first guide…what was I supposed to learn from Tantei-kun?" Kaito inquired as he was led by the hand through the maze.

"That you should take better care of yourself," Shinichi reported, taking out his sword and hacking through the overgrowth that was the labyrinth wall. "That he'd gladly throw himself in harm's way for you."

"He…He's you, right?" Kaito sought to confirm.

"In a way." Shinichi shrugged. "We share a certain past, but…we're different now. If he ever returns to being 'Kudo Shinichi', he won't be _me_ anymore. He's changed…he's had to change since becoming 'Edogawa Conan'."

"Oh." Kaito chewed nervously on the inside of his cheek. "So…what do you think will happen with him and Mouri-chan?"

Shinichi shook his head. "Regardless…I'm not the man she's been waiting for anymore. I'm not the knight in shining armor she's expecting to come back to her."

"I kind of know what you mean," Kaito mumbled, thinking of Aoko. "…So…what are you here to teach me, Meitantei?"

"Only that your life is precious and that people care about you." Shinichi stopped and turned to face Kaito. "Also…that you're not alone. You don't have to slay your dragons by yourself. I'd gladly defeat them for you, if you'd only let me." Shinichi leaned in and pressed a butterfly kiss to Kaito's cheek.

When Kaito opened his eyes, Shinichi was gone, and Aoko was standing in front of him, looking away and begrudgingly holding out a blue rose.

"Aoko?"

"Just take the rose already," she snorted. "Aoko hates you, you know. You lied, Kaito. The whole time you pretended to be Aoko's friend, but you were really laughing at her behind her back."

Kaito took the rose and then found himself in uniform complete with top hat and monocle. "And what am I supposed to learn from this? That I'm a backstabbing liar?"

"That Aoko still cares about you regardless," she muttered, turning and walking away. "Aoko doesn't want you to die."

"Aoko, I'm not gonna die," Kaito sighed, trailing along behind.

"That's not what the doctors say," she sniffled. "The doctors say you've lost too much blood. They say you're not going to make it."

"What doctors?" Kaito's brow furrowed deeply, and he came to a stop.

"Outside the labyrinth," Aoko clarified, picking up the pace.

"Aoko, wait!" Kaito called as she began to run.

He chased after her, catching sight of her skirt disappearing as she rounded a corner. He lost her after the third turn. The path diverged into three routes, leaving Kaito at a loss as to which one to travel.

"Aoko!" he shouted. "Aoko, come back!"

"She's gone," Kuroba Chikage informed him sadly, peeking her head around the corner of the path to the far right. "Come this way, Honey." She held out an orange rose.

With a sigh, Kaito stepped forward and took it, changing back into his street clothes. "Hey, Mom."

"Hey, Honey." She smiled dimly at him, looking like she was about to cry.

"What's the matter?" He frowned, immediately picking up on the fact that something was terribly wrong.

She shook her head and did her best to smile. "Come along, Honey. We don't have much further to go." She linked her arm with his and guided him down the path. "You've come a long way, haven't you, Kaito?"

"Y-Yeah," he replied uneasily. "There's been a lot of craziness going on around here. You wouldn't be able to explain any of it, would you?"

She nodded, swallowing down a sob. "Sorry. Sorry, Honey, I'm just…I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you, you know? I could never help. I was never there for you."

"Mom, it's fine," Kaito assured, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze. "This is something I have to do myself."

"No, Kaito. You needed help, and I was never there, and now it's…" she closed her eyes, sinking to her knees as she began to weep.

"Mom! Mom, what's wrong?!" Kaito knelt by her side, tugging at her arm, begging her to explain.

She shook her head and pointed further down the path. "Just ahead. Go on, Kaito."

He looked, and by the time he looked back, she was gone.

"Great," he sighed, reluctantly forging on ahead.

He reached a clearing, and on the other side he could see a large, black, wrought-iron gate, leading out of the maze. Kaito heaved a sigh of relief.

"Not so fast."

There was a young woman sitting in the middle of the clearing, in front of her a large, rectangular swath of freshly tilled soil. Kaito couldn't see the chair she was sitting on because it was blocked by the large skirt of her gothic-style dress.

"Kiku-chan," he breathed, recognizing his sometimes accomplice. She had helped him on many a heist, securing parts, blueprints, and occasionally going so far as to be his body double.

"Kiddo." She nodded grimly in greeting.

"So…have you got a rose for me?" He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking around the bare clearing.

"No," she replied simply, sadly shaking her heavy head.

"That's a nice dress you've got there." Kaito attempted to strike up a conversation. Chrisy Monroe usually had more personality than this. "I can't say that black's really your color, though."

"It's suitable for the occasion." She shrugged, standing. "You can place the roses here." She pointed down at the ground where a white rose already lay.

"O…kay." Nothing in this dream made any sense, so he just went with it, approaching and setting the roses at her feet.

She nodded. "Goldilocks was wrong. Red's not your color. Look, it's getting all over your nice white…I have to go. I can't watch."

"What?" He looked down at his stomach and shrieked in horror when he found his white suit stained with blood. He gripped his stomach and fell to his knees. He was kneeling on a grave.

Kiku-chan hadn't been sitting on a chair; she had been using a gravestone as a seat. Using HIS gravestone as a seat now that he actually looked at the inscription!

Kuroba Kaito June 21 to November 13.

November thirteenth. What had happened November thirteenth? That's right. He'd had his Friday the Thirteenth heist! Hakuba and Tantei-kun had been there. There'd been tons of media coverage. He'd gotten away. Well, he'd gotten as far as the roof. He'd held up the gem to the moon and…everything had gone red.

Kaito remembered now. He'd been shot.

"Go," a voice whispered. "Go on, Kaito."

The world came back into focus, and his father was standing there beside the tombstone.

"D-Dad?" he stumbled over the word, stumbling equally to his feet.

The sage magician smiled, taking his son by the hand. "This world of shadows and illusions isn't for you, Kaito. Stay here no longer. Go home. Tell Chikage I love her."

"Dad?" He looked curiously between the gate and his father, holding onto the wound in his side with one hand while gripping Touichi's hand tightly with the other.

Touichi nodded. "They're waiting for you…your guides. Go to them. You belong with them, not here among dead things. Go, Kaito. Run!"

Touichi was gone, and the world was crumbling, falling apart around Kaito. A giant crack appeared in the sky, ripping the moon in half and rendering a jagged tear in the field of stars. The ground was shaking, giving way into a void of nothingness.

Suddenly Kaito found the strength to spring forward, running for his life towards the gate.

…

"We're losing him!" one of the doctors shouted.

"Clear!" another announced before sending another jolt of electricity coursing through the teen's body.

"It's no use," a third sighed. "Time?"

"November thirteenth, eleven fifty-nine and forty-one point twenty seconds," Hakuba Saguru supplied, eyes glazing over in shock. He let go of Nakamori Aoko's hand, and the girl beside him burst into tears, throwing her arms around Kuroba Chikage's neck and weeping bitterly into the bereft mother's chest.

"He can't be," Edogawa Conan whispered.

Before the blow had really even had the opportunity to sink in, a clock began to toll midnight, and the screech of the machines stopped. There was a beep. Just one, but that one slowly turned into a stream of steady beeps, the flatline on the monitor transforming into a consistent string of peaks and valleys.

"He's alive," Saguru muttered.

"He's alive!" Conan echoed.

"He's alive?" Chikage choked.

With a deep intake of breath, a yawn, and a stretch, Kuroba Kaito opened his eyes and sat up, much to the amazement of everyone in the room. He looked around curiously at all of the people gaping at him. He blinked, cocking his head to the side. "Hey."

"H-Hey yourself," Saguru stuttered, tears beginning to collect at the corners of his eyes.

Chikage fainted, and Aoko burst into tears anew.

A third of the medical staff saw to Chikage while the rest marveled over Kaito's miraculous recovery.

"The wound's…gone."

Hakuba and Conan hesitantly approached the bed once the doctors and nurses were done scratching their heads.

"You were dead, you know," Hakuba started, having regained control over his tear ducts but not all of his composure. "What was that like, being dead?"

Kaito shrugged. "Weird. There was this topiary maze. You were all there. My dad was there. I don't think I want to go to purgatory or whatever that was again anytime soon."

"We were there?" Conan queried, pulling himself up to sit on the foot of the bed.

"Yeah." Kaito frowned. "_Both_ of you, Tantei-kun."

Conan's eyebrows shot straight up.

"Kuroba…do you feel quite alright? Your eyes are…well…" Hakuba bit his lip.

"Red," Conan finished.

…

Mikau: Don't ask where this came from. I was doing writing exercises from prompts, and one of them was about a dream you couldn't wake up from, and then this happened. Please let me know what you think! In other news, I'm super stoked because I found Detective Conan subbed in Spanish! Truthfully, 95% of the time, I don't even look at the subtitles, but now when I don't know a word in Japanese, I can look at the Spanish and keep up on my Japanese and Spanish at the same time! I love being able to tell my mother that I'm studying whenever she asks what I'm doing when I'm watching anime. Have a great day, guys!


	2. Modulation and Hope

Mikau: Hi everyone! It's been a while. Sorry about the holdup. I'm a florist, and it was Valentine's Day from the end of January until about a week after the Day itself. And now I've got my finals coming up. Anyway, the updates on this one won't be as quick as some of my others; I can already tell, and I apologize in advance. I also want to thank you guys for supporting and encouraging me too. Thank you especially to reviewers: patternleap, hizmit12-waterlilly3721, MeitanteiRose, Bunnyz-chan, MeridianGrimm, and Assasin8! I appreciate you so much!

So…this has turned into a multi-chapter fic. Surprise, surprise. It's also worked its way into being a HakuKaiShin love triangle and eventual threesome. Because everybody loves those. This chapter is mostly dealing with establishing post-Pandora/syndicate relationships, and in chapter three I'm planning on starting to address the whole immortal problem. After that, in chapter four, I'd like to do another dream sequence, and we'll see where it goes from there, but I just wanted you to know that the style of the next two chapters will be a little different from the first, but I hope to eventually make it back into cryptic/symbolic dreamland, if that was something you really loved about the original chapter. Well, without further ado, let's get on with it.

Disclaimer: If I owned it…oh, the havoc I could wreak. Bwahaha!

…...

Modulation and Hope

The first few days after Kaito was released from the hospital, he tried not to think too much about his brush with death. He failed miserably and found himself contemplating the meaning of life and his purpose often.

He'd found Pandora. That red glow he'd seen before everything went to hell in a hand-basket had been the gem inside of the large sapphire he'd stolen. And it had healed him. Saved his life.

Kaito wasn't so sure what all that meant for him.

He'd asked Hakuba about all that had happened afterwards, and the detective had told him that they had been on the roof, Hakuba and Tantei-kun right on Kid's heels. Kid had stopped on the edge of the rooftop to hold the sapphire up to the full moon's light, and the center of the sapphire had begun to glow wine red, as if there were something lighting up on the inside.

And then Kid had been shot.

There was a giant burst of red light, like a flash-bomb going off, and when the detectives regained their sight, they found Kid on the ground, a shattered sapphire in his hand and blood seeping through his undershirt and suit jacket.

The two tanteis had agreed then and there to call time out on their battle with Kid, to hide the evidence and get the thief medical attention immediately. That's when Kiku-chan had burst through the door to the roof, and together they had gotten rid of the Kid outfit and the sapphire fragments. They'd made up a story about Kuroba Kaito having accompanied them in order to meet his idol the Kaitou Kid.

Kaito's Mom had been called and Aoko had shown up at the hospital along with her. Chikage and Aoko had been watching the heist together, and they'd come as soon as traffic would allow.

But Kaito had died. And then Pandora had brought him back to life.

So the sapphire had been painstakingly pieced back together, and Kaito had found that a large chunk in the center was gone. Pandora. Pandora was gone. Either used up or…inside of him. Either way, it was gone, no longer able to be used for evil. That secret syndicate that had murdered his father was finished.

The following week, after he was sure, he had this message published in the papers: "I rose from the grave to destroy your hopes for 'eternity'. I have accomplished my goal and now return to the shadows, once again a phantom. –Kid"

It ran below an article detailing how the FBI and CIA had teamed up with the Japanese police force to take down a shadowy crime syndicate operating behind the scenes for decades beforehand.

Kaito had to smile bitterly at this. It was over. It was all over. He could go back to being just Kaito now. How he was dreading it.

There was a knock on the front door, tearing Kaito from his thoughts and instead making him wonder why his visitor hadn't used the doorbell. He pushed his half-finished breakfast away and walked through the living room to reach the front door. He couldn't see anyone out the peephole but opened the door regardless.

The mysteries were instantly solved. Tantei-kun was too short both to reach the doorbell and to be seen out the peephole.

"I came to say goodbye," Conan explained awkwardly, chewing on his bottom lip and making circles on the ground with his toes.

"G-Goodbye?" Kaito blinked rapidly.

Conan nodded. "Yeah."

"Wha—Why?!" Kaito shook his head, side-stepping out of the way. "Wait. Come in, come in."

Conan shook his head. "Sorry. I can't stay." He nodded to the yellow beetle waiting for him on the street. "I just…Edogawa Conan is going to America with his parents. He'll be sure to call his friends from time to time to keep in touch, but…he's…he's never coming back, so…this will be the last time we see each other, Kid-san."

"…O-Oh." Kaito swallowed hard. "You're…Tantei-kun's…going away. So…can I expect Kudo Shinichi to be making a grand reappearance sometime soon?"

Conan smiled sadly. "Not for a while. It'll be a gradual return. Shinichi-niichan's going to try to keep his name out of the papers at first, just in case. It should be fine, but…you know."

Kaito understood well. "I'm…I'm going to miss you, you know," he admitted.

Conan nodded in agreement. "Yeah…I know…me too, but…I read the morning paper. It looks like you're done too anyway." He raised an eyebrow at his once rival. "You weren't planning on continuing your night job on the side, were you?"

"N-No," Kaito insisted.

Conan chuckled softly. "I didn't think so, but…I was thinking…what would you do if Shinichi-niichan called you up to get pizza sometime?"

"R-Really?!" Kaito exclaimed, a grin breaking out on his face. "I mean…That'd be pretty cool, I guess."

"I thought so too." Conan shrugged, himself smiling. "So…I'll be in touch."

"You have my number?" Kaito blinked. "Come to think of it, you know where I live. When did that happen?"

"Hakuba told me after I swore I meant you no harm. He was really scary. You should have seen him when you were bleeding out up there on the roof." Conan shuddered, remembering the event.

"Oh yeah?" Kaito tilted his head to the side, his interest piqued.

"Yeah." Another shiver ran through the small detective's body, but it didn't appear that he was going to say any more on the matter.

"Oh yeah, thank you, by the way." Kaito suddenly remembered. "You helped save my life…and keep me out of jail. Why…why would you do something like that for me? A detective covering up for a thief?"

Conan's eyes widened and then he smiled softly, almost fondly. "Well, saving your life was obvious…letting you go free…that was mainly Hakuba's idea."

"Hakuba?" Kaito's eyebrows began to inch closer together.

The grade schooler nodded. "He told me under no uncertain terms that it was officially time out of our cat and mouse game. I agree that it would have been unsportsmanlike to have you arrested under those circumstances, but…Hakuba seemed to know something that I didn't. He was desperate to protect you, even to the point of threatening me. I know that stuck up Brit well enough to know that there's no way he'd get that emotional over a run-of-the-mill thief, and I, myself, have also had some doubts about your true motives for stealing, so…

"Anyway, you haven't kept anything you've stolen yet, and it sounds like you won't be stealing again, so let's just call it even for now. I have to go, but later, in exchange for keeping your sorry butt out of the slammer, I'd like you to have a talk with Shinichi-niichan about what exactly Kid was looking for in the first place. I still don't understand what happened that night and why you're still alive, and the detective in me just can't stand an unsolved mystery."

With a wink and a wave, Conan turned to leave.

"It's a date!" Kaito called after him. "Thanks…Tantei-kun."

…

A week later, Kaito was starting to regret that he'd finally convinced his mother to go back to work. He ate better when she was in town, and, at the moment, his fridge was pitifully empty.

Maybe he should head to the convenience store and pick up a ready-made dinner. Though, pizza was sounding good. He could always order pizza.

The doorbell rang, and, for a minute, Kaito briefly wondered if a miracle had occurred and the delivery guy had read his mind…or gotten the wrong house by mistake. How long would they put him in the slammer for stealing someone else's pizza? Would it be worth it? Regardless, that had to be bad karma.

He had to do a double-take through the peephole. Yes, that was indeed a pizza, and holding aforementioned, glorious, heaven-sent pizza was…Tantei-kun? Only ten years older. Yep, that was indeed Edogawa Conan complete with oversized glasses and obnoxious bowtie.

No time to argue. His pizza was getting cold.

He opened the door and exclaimed, "You are the greatest detective in the universe! How were you able to deduce that I wanted a pizza before _I_ even knew that I wanted a pizza? Come in!"

Adult-sized Tantei-kun blinked and then chuckled softly as the box was spirited away. He followed Kaito through the living room and into the kitchen, shutting the front door behind him. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not _that_ good. My cousin, Edogawa Conan, told me about you and said we should hang out…said that he was sure we'd amuse each other. And that I should bring pizza."

"You're off to a good start, Meitantei." Kaito smirked, fishing out two plates and glasses from the overhead cabinets. "I have no doubt that we'll be very fond of each other…that, or we'll drive each other up the wall. What's up with the Tantei-kun outfit? Ditch the bowtie. It looked cute on him…not so much on you. Keep the glasses, though…. I like the glasses."

Shinichi scratched his cheek awkwardly. "Um…Agasa-hakase is in the middle of making a tie with the same features as my bowtie, so…I have to make due for the time being. I'll keep in mind your glasses preference, though. I kind of like them myself…. Plus, they keep me from poking myself in the eye. I tried the first couple of days back without them, but I kept forgetting that they weren't there, and when I went to adjust them…"

Kaito broke out into an undignified fit of snorts and giggles. "Sorry. It's not that funny. I can just see you doing something like that."

Shinichi shrugged, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "It is what it is. Anyway, they're useful, so…I think I'll keep them. Ran hates them, but…it's not like I have to conform to her preferences or anything."

"You don't?" Kaito's ears perked up as his heartbeat hastened. "Aren't you two…? …I mean…an item?"

Shinichi's grin faded. "Nah. She's my childhood friend…more of a big sister to me than anything."

"Oh," Kaito replied cheerfully, but then realized that his reaction was completely inappropriate. "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that," he tried again, this time with a faked somber note to his voice. Why was he kind of happy that Tantei-kun's girlfriend was no longer his girlfriend? He was not being a very good, supportive…uh…former rival?

"I'm sorry." Shinichi hurriedly got to his feet and bowed, upsetting the chair he had been sitting in. "We haven't even met before, and here I am just inviting myself into your kitchen, talking away without even introducing myself properly. I'm Kudo Shinichi…detective. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Kaito held back a laugh. "Oh, we've met. Don't you remember? You shot at me. I was hanging off the side of a clock tower; you were in a helicopter. Yeah?"

Shinichi's face fell. "Crap. I did, didn't I? Holy crap. What was I thinking? I shot at you!"

"You also stuck your hand down my pants," Kaito reminded, causing Shinichi's face to go beet red. "Oh wait. That was your cousin. On top of a blimp, if I remember correctly. I'm Kuroba Kaito. It's a pleasure to be met."

Shinichi's mouth fell open. "It wasn't on purpose! I didn't mean to…you know—"

"—Feel me up?" Kaito batted his lashes.

"Yes. NO!" Shinichi exclaimed, growing more and more flustered by the second. "ANYWAY, I was _trying_ to make the glider detach or collapse or stop or something!"

"Doesn't change the fact that you stuck your hand down my pants." Kaito shrugged, an amused smirk clinging to his lips.

Shinichi opened and closed his mouth a few times before giving up and sitting down. "In my defense, I don't usually go any further than first base before date number ten."

"I'll consider myself special," Kaito replied with a light smile. "What date number is this, then?"

Shinichi pursed his lips. "…Two. We'll call the clock tower date number one."

"I can live with that." Kaito shrugged and dug into his much lusted after pizza. "Thanks for the pizza, Shin-chan. Veggie delight is my favorite."

"I know." Shinichi helped himself to a piece. "Wait. 'Shin-chan'?! No. Absolutely not. That's what my mom calls me."

"How do you know my favorite kind of pizza?" Kaito paused with a slice half-way out of his mouth. "Have you been stalking me, Shin-chan?"

"No!" Shinichi's blush returned with a vengeance. "And stop calling me that! No, _I'm_ not stalking you, but somebody else sure is."

"Hakuba," Kaito hazarded a guess, shifting uneasily in his seat. "Why in the world were you guys discussing my preferences in pizza? Am I a topic that comes up regularly in everyday conversation with him?"

Shinichi smiled sheepishly. "I asked him. I was telling him the other day how I was planning on coming to meet you, and I asked him what kind of pizza you liked, since I figured he'd know…. And yes."

Kaito's mouth continued to hang open. "You two…hang out?"

"We bonded over your near death," Shinichi explained. "He's kind of cool. I mean, we have a lot in common. Sometimes I don't really get him, but Hakuba's a good person. I mean, he's a Holmes fan, after all."

"Since when is that the criteria for being a good person?" Kaito raised an eyebrow at his companion.

"Anyway, he may be a bit of a stalker, but I swear he's not creepy, so don't think that about him, please. He's serious…he just doesn't know how to express himself in a socially acceptable way. It's not his fault that he's not had a lot of experience dealing with real people. He…He just wants…to be close to someone…and to win people's approval…. I can see why he likes you so much, though."

Kaito's heart jumped. "Y-You can?"

"Yeah," Shinichi chuckled at Kaito's apparent surprise. "Don't be so shocked. You're fun to be around…really entertaining…witty and bright. It's no wonder people are drawn to your intelligence and natural charm. You're enthralling. You've got a good heart…too bad your personality's so lousy."

"Hey!" Kaito whined, coming out of the trance Shinichi's praises had put him in.

The detective just laughed. "Joking, joking."

"It's okay." Kaito shrugged, a small smile rising on his lips. "It's kind of true. People seem to keep liking me anyway."

"Of course. You're very likable once you get past the crappy parts." Shinichi gave the magician a teasing wink.

"Says the equally obnoxious, persistent midget," Kaito snorted with a blush.

"I'm taller than you now," Shinichi returned triumphantly.

Kaito pursed his lips in a bit of a pout.

"That's a good look for you," Shinichi snickered. "You know…with your mouth shut. Normally you chatter something awful."

Kaito was silent yet again as he contemplated the reason behind his recent heart palpitations. They seemed to occur whenever he stared for too long at Tantei-kun…no…_Shin-chan's_ pretty face. Hn.

"You okay?" Shinichi shifted uneasily under Kaito's magenta stare. "I'm sorry. I was just joking with you, honest. I didn't mean to offend—"

"—No," Kaito chuckled sheepishly, snapping back to reality. "I was just…lost in thought for a moment there. You're fine. I like being teased…. Hey, change of topic, but would you want to maybe watch a movie or play a game or something together after dinner? I'd be glad for the company."

"Sure," Shinichi easily agreed, interested in getting to know the man behind the monocle better. "I'd love to, but, hey, before I forget, could you do me a favor?"

"Yeah. Absolutely," Kaito replied a little too eagerly.

"Could you go back to school or give Hakuba a call or stop by his house or something? He's worried about you."

Kaito blinked. "O-Oh?" That had not been what he'd been expecting. "Sure. Yeah, I could do that."

"Thanks," Shinichi smiled broadly in relief. "I'd really appreciate it."

"No problem," Kaito assured, still a little puzzled.

"So…what kind of movie did you want to watch?" Shinichi rested his chin in his hand, propping his arm up on the table.

Kaito couldn't help but notice that…that Shin-chan…Shinichi kind of looked sort of attractive like that. Realizing that he was getting lost in thought again, Kaito rushed to answer the seemingly simple question.

"Actually, I like mysteries…sometimes. And comedies, if they're not too stupid. And dramas…but not soap opera-like dramas…. We can watch whatever you want," Kaito chuckled sheepishly.

Shinichi smiled. "One of my favorite shows comes on soon. It's a sort of funny, romantic comedy cop drama. Would you be willing to watch it with me? I think you'd like it well enough."

"Yeah, definitely!" Kaito responded with gusto. Honestly, anything was fine at that point. All he really wanted was for Kudo Shinichi to stay with him for as long as he could possibly keep him.

For some reason, Kaito was attracted to the detective like a feline to catnip. It was oddly thrilling in all sorts of unexpected ways, just being around Kudo Shinichi, and Kaito wanted more, as much as he could get.

…

At first Saguru thought he was imagining the knock on the sliding glass door leading out to his bedroom's balcony. But then it came again, and he hesitantly approached the curtain, taking a deep breath before throwing it open as quickly as one might rip off a bandage.

There, standing on his second floor balcony, was Kuroba Kaito. Holding out a bouquet of yellow roses like a peace offering.

Saguru fought the urge to pinch himself. Surely this was a dream. It fit with the pattern: Kuroba showed up and confessed, and then they engaged in animalistic behavior before playing a game of chess or having an intellectually riveting conversation. Though, sometimes they just attempted to swallow each other's tonsils and then played video games.

Drat. Kuroba was still standing on his balcony, and Saguru was just staring at his crush stupidly. Not making a good impression.

He quickly got his act together and undid the lock, sliding the door open and stepping to the side. "Sorry. Um…come in, Kuroba."

"Thanks. Sorry for the intrusion," Kaito chuckled weakly, looking extremely uncomfortable. "…Um…Hi," he greeted awkwardly, shifting his weight back and forth so that he rocked from the balls to the heels of his feet.

"Hi," Hakuba returned, wondering if this indeed was happening.

Was Kuroba Kaito _actually_ in his room? Blast. Had he finally snapped? Was he so lovesick that he was now having full blown hallucinations? If this was, in fact, truly occurring, why, oh why, did he have the grave misfortune to be in his plaid pajama pants and a too-tight cotton t-shirt at the moment?

"Oh. Right. I brought you flowers," Kaito remembered, holding out the yellow roses once more.

"Th-Thank you." Saguru reached out and took them, their fingers brushing in the process. It was heavenly torture. "Thank you, Kuroba. They're lovely…. I'm sorry. What's the occasion?"

"Truce," the magician explained. "And to thank you. They kind of pale in comparison to what you did for me, but…I wanted to express my gratitude. Tantei-kun told me about what you did…everything you did… Thank you, Hakuba. I owe you." Kaito dropped from the waist into a deep, formal bow.

"N-No," Saguru protested, getting flustered. "That's not necessary, Kuroba. Honestly, it was nothing. Please, don't worry about it. I'm just thankful that you're alive and well…. You are well, aren't you? You look well. …Your eyes seem to be returning to normal. They're more purple and less red now. Did the doctors say anything about that?"

Coming back up from the bow, Kaito shrugged. "I'm well enough physically. Mentally, I'm a little…rattled. But, yeah, they gave me a clean bill of health. I feel normal. They did all sorts of tests, but they didn't find anything. The redness is slowly going away, so…"

The teens fell into awkward silence once more.

Kaito sighed. "No. Seriously, Hakuba. _Thank you_. Don't brush it off. I'm in your debt here. I wouldn't be standing here alive and free, if not for you. That's huge," Kaito stressed. "I _owe_ you."

"You're welcome," Saguru returned softly. "…but I don't want anything from you."

"_At least nothing I can rightly ask for,"_ he mentally sighed, wishing he had the guts to lean in, steal a kiss, and say "With that, why don't we just call it even?"

"Nothing?" Kaito clarified.

Saguru shrugged, palms spread wide. "Nothing."

"Not anything?" Kuroba frowned deeply. "Like…no explanation about the shooters or the gem or Kid's sudden retirement or…or anything? Not…anything?"

"I already know about the syndicate and Pandora." Saguru shrugged, making Kaito's mouth drop to the floor.

"Huh?"

Saguru stifled an impolite titter. "I said that I already know, Kuroba. A great deal of it I figured out myself: your father, your meticulous search for a gem within a gem that showed itself in the light of the full moon, your shadowy fanclub with a taste for handguns…. Your friend with the Pikachu blonde hair…Miss Monroe, she filled in the blanks in my deductions after I had explained to her how much I knew already."

Kaito blinked twice as he processed the information. "She did?"

"We had a very long wait together at the hospital. We had to talk about something," Saguru explained matter-of-factly.

"Kiku-chan was at the hospital? I never saw her there. She never visited." Kaito's brow pinched together as he sorted the facts.

"Oh, she visited every day." Saguru smirked lightly. "You were hospitalized for a total of four days, and on each of those four days I ran into her in the waiting room at five o'clock. We waited together until after your doctor had seen you, and then we left once we had gotten the update. I don't think either of us was brave enough to actually go to your room and see you," he admitted. "I got the feeling that Miss Monroe felt like she had failed you and your father. I believe she feels responsible for your death…even though you pulled through in the end."

"I'll have to talk to her," Kaito sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Wait. Why didn't _you_ stop in and say 'hi', if you were there every day?"

Saguru blushed, looking off to the side. "Aoko-kun or your mother was usually there. Them, or some of your other friends. I did not wish to interrupt. I…did not believe my presence would be welcomed."

"Not be—Seriously, Hakuba?" Kaito snorted, hands going to his hips as his face contorted into a frustrated scowl. "Why the hell wouldn't you be welcome? Didn't I tell you? We're _friends_, moron. You're my friend."

Saguru could feel his heart fluttering. He was getting light-headed. "N-No," he stuttered.

Kaito raised an irritated, if not slightly embarrassed, eyebrow. "'No' what?"

"No. You've never told me that before," Saguru clarified, cheeks beginning to burn. "Do you seriously consider me your friend, Kuroba?"

Kaito's expression instantly lost all of its edge. He blinked and then laughed weakly in embarrassment. "Oh yeah. I guess I didn't, did I? 'Cause that was in the dream where I…I mean yes. Yes, Hakuba, of course you're my friend. I treat all of my friends like crap. That's how you know that I actually care about you."

Saguru was going back to the hypothesis that this was a dream. There was no way that the real Kuroba Kaito would say something that touching. Though, now that he thought about it, in his dreams Kuroba was usually a lot more debonair and suave and quite resembled Kid when expressing his love, so, when all else had been ruled out, that left Saguru with the realization that this indirectly sweet Kuroba must be the genuine article.

"You…actually care about me?" Saguru whispered, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

Kaito shifted uneasily. "You're a lot more important than you think, Hakuba."

"I…am?" If this were a dream, he wished to die in his sleep, happy.

"Y-Yeah." Geez this was getting awkward. Kaito sidestepped the blonde and went to sit on the couch. "Okay. Friendship established. Moving on. So…you hang out with Shin-chan?—Shinichi! …Kudo. I meant Kudo," Kaito fumbled, trying to contain his blush.

Saguru didn't fail to notice, a twinge of jealousy shooting through him. "Shinichi and I have been spending time together over the past two weeks, yes."

"You call him Shinichi?" Kaito's left eye started to twitch. "You two seem to have gotten awful close in two weeks."

"Says the one who calls him 'Shin-chan'," Saguru snorted. "If you must know, he insists that I call him by his first name. He veritably pouts when I do not comply. I suppose we are getting close, though. He does make a point of coming most every day."

Suddenly Kaito was irritated. It took him a moment to properly identify this new wave of mixed emotions as jealousy and insecurity.

"Do you like him?" slipped past Kaito's lips before he could censor himself.

Both teens blinked in surprise at one another.

Saguru frowned, giving Kaito a look that said that the blonde could not believe he was being asked this and that he almost didn't want to dignify that question with an answer. "No," Saguru finally responded. "He's not my type."

"What's your type?" Kaito quickly returned.

"Uh…that's a little personal." The detective began to blush a deep crimson.

"So? We're friends, right?" Kaito gave the blonde a calculated smile. "I'd have to say my type is athletic, snarky, brainy, sexy, charming, and playful. Your turn."

"What about loyal? Kind? I don't think that the person you described would take proper care of you, Kuroba. I want you to be with someone who will love you with their whole heart and stick with you through anything. You should look for someone stable and consistent. What I want for you is someone reliable…someone who can support you…financially, emotionally, mentally. Whatever you need. I don't think 'Mr. Athletic-Snarky-Brainy-Sexy-Charming-and-Playful' will cut it, Kuroba. You need someone better. You deserve the best."

There were so many things Kaito could say to that. First, on a purely superficial level he could deny the masculine-ness of the assumed "_Mr._ Athletic, etcetera, etcetera".

Also, there was the fact that without really thinking, Kaito had described Shinichi…at least, his current perception of Shinichi. Kaito would have to process his apparent thing for Kudo Shinichi later.

On a deeper level, Kaito was kind of touched at how adamant Hakuba was about what kind of man Kaito needed…no, deserved.

"You mean you," Kaito guessed.

"N-No!" Saguru vehemently objected. "Heavens no. Not me. I'm nowhere near worthy of you! I'm just…I mean…I'm too…"

"You're…just what? Too what? Hakuba, there's nothing wrong with you," Kaito challenged Saguru's preconceptions.

"There's not?" The detective looked absolutely floored.

"No, so stop thinking that about yourself." Kaito motioned for the blonde to come sit down next to him.

Saguru slowly and self-consciously did as bid.

"…So…you honestly just want me to end up with someone awesome?" Kaito broke the silence that had fallen between them once again.

"Yes." Saguru shifted uncomfortably. Why was it that now that he finally had Kuroba Kaito in his room, things were so downright unnatural between them?

"Oh." Kaito hummed in thought. He felt bad. If Hakuba genuinely wanted what was best for Kaito, even if that meant that Kaito ended up with someone else…the poor detective must truly love him.

"_Crap,"_ Kaito mentally sighed. He felt like such a sleazeball.

"I'm sorry. I never answered your question," Saguru mumbled, desperate to keep the conversation flowing. If things didn't turn around quickly, there was a high probability that Kuroba would not return again in the future. This was his chance…maybe his only chance.

"Question?" Kaito blinked rapidly, coming out of his thoughts.

"My…My type," Saguru clarified with a blush. He pretended to think about it, in reality just looking away because he couldn't describe Kuroba to Kuroba with a straight face. "They would have to be kind and compassionate…understanding and accepting to deal with me. I'd want someone with an intellect to rival my own and a sharp wit. I think in order to make a relationship work, we'd have to be patient with each other and try to talk things out rationally, so someone that's willing to put time and effort in. Someone with a good sense of humor. Being able to laugh together is important. Those are the essentials, but if I could have a wish list of traits for a perfect mate, they'd be noble, hard-working, and approximately somewhere between five-seven and five-nine."

"Wait. What? What's up with the height requirement?" Kaito snapped out of his haze of embarrassment induced by Hakuba's flattering description.

Saguru shrugged. "That's the best height range to compliment my own proportions."

"Oh." Kaito nodded. "That makes sense. Sooo…you only date models?"

Saguru cocked his head to the side. "No. Aren't models usually over six feet tall?"

Kaito blinked. "The _male_ ones." And then it clicked. "Oh. Are you straight up gay? I thought you were bi. You know, a lot of our classmates are going to be brokenhearted over this, Hakuba."

Saguru's face blanched. "I…I like girls just fine. Whoever said anything about being gay? I—"

"—Don't have to pretend to be straight around me," Kaito chuckled. "It's cool, Hakuba. We're cool."

"Oh." Saguru nodded, sinking back into the couch. His head snapped to the side to give Kaito an unconvinced look. "Seriously?"

"Yep." Kaito shrugged in an "It can't be helped" manner. "You're fine."

"I'm surprised that you're even bothering to associate with me, honestly," Saguru sighed, a wry grin coming to his lips. "True, I've done you a favor saving your life and helping to prevent your loss of freedom, but…even before that, you considered me your friend? Why? How?"

"Shin-chan was right. You don't interact with people much, do you?" Kaito chuckled. "Hakuba, there's no real 'why' or 'how' of friendship. It's not really something you plan or decide. It just happens. You hang out with the same person…go head-to-head with them on crazy jewel heists, try to arrest them, get covered in confetti and glitter, maybe your hair gets an unexpected dye job, somewhere along the way you come to understand each other a little better, and then boom! You're friends. I don't know why or how, but somewhere along the way I started caring what the hell happened to you. You went from being that stuck-up, British pain in my ass to just being good ole Hakuba…and then you became one of my detectives…. _Mine_. So, yeah. I'm gonna keeping bothering to associate with you, whether you like it or not."

Saguru opened his mouth and closed it a few times before finally deciding on what to say. "I'd like that."

"Good, 'cause I was seriously planning on coming to bother you, whether you wanted me here or not." Kaito smirked, elbowing his friend in the ribs. "You said Shin-chan comes almost every day?"

Saguru nodded after a beat, jarred by the sudden change of subject.

"Any particular time?" Kaito smiled, feeling absolutely despicable.

Part of him genuinely wanted to get closer to Hakuba, to spend time with the blonde cultivating their friendship, but the ugly, selfish part of him wanted to spend more time with Shinichi and, more importantly, make sure that Hakuba and Shinichi weren't getting too close. Knowing how serious Hakuba was about him, Kaito felt positively wretched for manipulating the situation.

"Not really." Saguru gave his left shoulder a quick raise and drop. "Why exactly?"

"Just curious," Kaito laughed, brushing it off. "So, what do you want to do? I see you've got video games and movies and…" Kaito got up, inspecting Saguru's various possessions, most of them gifts, never been used. He'd had no occasion to do so…before, anyway.

Saguru was absolutely giddy. This was better than any dream he'd had before. This was real. Kuroba Kaito was in his room, telling Saguru that he cared, that they were friends, that Kaito thought Saguru was just fine exactly the way he was.

There was a name for this strange new feeling: Hope.

…

Mikau: So, what did you think? In my opinion there were some rough patches, but I believe, overall, it has some nice parts, especially considering how hard this chapter fought with me. Shinichi and Kaito are playing nicely, but Kaito and Saguru are just so awkward together. Kaito's too busy thinking about Shinichi and Saguru's being a little skittish and having a hard time opening up. Give it time, I suppose. Anyway, I'm much more interested in your opinion, so, if you have a moment, I'd love to hear what you have to say. Thanks so much for reading, guys, and I hope to see you again soon!


	3. The Changes

Mikau: Hi guys! Guess what. Tomorrow (March 10th) is my birthday! Yay! My mummsie got me an ice cream cake with Conan on it. It was pretty awesome (and delicious). In other news, for all of you that read The Healing Process, I got a lot of reviews saying that you were looking forward to the next chapter, and I thought "Shoot. It was supposed to be a one-shot!" But now ideas for four more chapters have come to me, so you get your chapter fic. I hope you're happy. I'm planning on getting out a new chapter sometime in the next two weeks, but don't quote me on that. And, lastly, before we get on with the show, I want to thank everyone that reviewed last time. I sincerely appreciate your support, guys: MeitanteiRose, patternleap, Assasin8, farawisa, and Bunnyz-chan!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, Kaito would be a Pisces. He has much more of a Gemini/Cancer cusp personality, though, so I guess it's a good thing Aoyama-sensei's the one who owns DC/MK.

…

The Changes

"What do you think? I am unable to look at the situation objectively because I'm emotionally involved." Saguru gave the other detective a pleading look, eyes big and round with a slight pout going on between the brows. A distracting quiver of the lips. Lips…hmm.

"_As if I'm not?"_ Shinichi sighed mentally, shaking his head to clear it of pointless thoughts.

"No?" Saguru misinterpreted the head shake, expression quickly changing to "crestfallen". "But…but I thought it went rather well. I mean, he didn't bat an eye when he discovered…my sexual preferences, and he said…he said he cared about me. He said there was nothing wrong with me. He said I was fine the way I am. I thought…I'm sorry, Shinichi, I just thought that maybe… Never mind. I was a fool to even hope for a second—" Saguru spit out at a hundred miles per hour.

"—Saguru!" Shinichi had to physically take ahold of the blonde's shoulders and shake him out of his downward spiral. "Saguru, it's okay. I didn't mean 'no'. I was just clearing my head. I think…" He tried to show an encouraging smile when he felt anything but. "I think that's good, but I don't think you should get your hopes up too much. I mean, Kuroba seems…fairly strai—well…he at least seems to prefer girls over men. Just…spend time with him working on your friendship for now, I guess."

"So…it's a maybe?" It was hard for Shinichi to see the blonde so excited over another guy.

"Yeah. It's a maybe," Shinichi assured. "I'm glad things went well with Kuroba the other night."

"Thank you," Saguru chuckled sheepishly, smiling brightly…a beautiful, genuine smile, as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Shinichi, I really do appreciate you listening to me blather on like this. I'm sincerely grateful for all of your advice. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. I'd be such a bloody mess."

"You're welcome." Shinichi smiled softly, basking in the glow of Saguru's dazzling grin. "That's what friends do."

Saguru blinked, realization hitting him. "That's right. They do, don't they? We should talk about _your_ love life, shouldn't we?"

Shinichi could barely contain a bark of laughter. "Oh no. Nooo way. Not unless you're in the mood for a comedic tragedy to rival Hamlet."

"Was Hamlet funny? I don't remember the funny parts, just the melodrama." Saguru frowned, searching his memory banks.

"_I_ thought so. During some parts." Shinichi shrugged.

With a pensive hum, Hakuba got back on topic, sticking out his bottom lip and making puppy-dog eyes at the brunette. "Please? Pretty please, Shinichi? Real friends talk about that sort of stuff."

"Stop it," Shinichi laughed, putting his hand on Saguru's face and pushing the other teen away.

"But I've learned that you do whatever I like when I make this face," Saguru argued, laughing and pushing back. "Conditioned response."

"Fine," Shinichi finally gave in with a great sigh.

"Excellent," Saguru smirked, looking altogether just too pleased with himself. "Shinichi, do you prefer men or women?"

The older detective shrugged, tucking his legs underneath him so his feet stuck out at the side. "Both. I mean, I've loved Ran my entire life, but I have to admit that I've found men attractive before. I mean, who doesn't swoon at least a little bit in the presence of the Kaitou Kid?"

Saguru tensed at this.

Shinichi just laughed. "Easy, easy. Down, Tiger. I like the uniform. Kuroba Kaito is…Okay, honestly, he has potential, but you saw him first. Besides, I already have somebody that I like."

"Someone I know?" Saguru's relaxed, easy manner returned. "Though, probably not, considering that I don't actually know very many people. Man or woman?"

"Man." Shinichi chuckled softly, scratching his cheek. "After Ran…I don't know if I'll ever be able to love another woman the way I loved her, and that's just not fair. I think I'll date guys for a while. Get my feet back under me and then maybe try girls again. Maybe by the time I'm thirty."

Saguru's brow furrowed. "So…you don't see things working out between you and the person you like at the moment?"

"No," Shinichi replied sadly, gazing longingly into those unsuspecting, brilliant honeycomb eyes. "He's long gone on someone else."

"I'm sorry." Saguru gently set a consoling hand on Shinichi's knee.

Shinichi closed his eyes, smiling as he placed his hand on top of his crush's. "Thank you. It's okay, though. I knew exactly what I was getting into even before I fell for the guy."

After all, it had been Saguru's passionate desperation to save Kaito that had made Shinichi's heart skip a beat for the blonde in the first place.

Shinichi had known this would be a masochistic, heart-shredding, torturous, unrequited love from the very beginning. He'd been prepared for heartbreak at the start, but that still hadn't stopped him from surrendering his heart to that loyal, compassionate, selfless man.

"But…your crush isn't officially with the person they like, correct?" Saguru's voice brought Shinichi back to the present.

"N-No, but…there's no room in his heart for me," Shinichi assured, casting said crush a wilting smile.

Saguru gave Shinichi's knee a light squeeze. "Don't give up. If you love him, fight. I may be a bit of a naïve romantic, but I believe true love wins out in the end. Don't throw in the towel too early, Shinichi."

Shinichi smiled and nodded.

True love was supposed to win.

That's why Shinichi would continue to fight. To push Saguru and Kuroba closer together so that true love could win out in the end.

…

Kaito had a paper cut. _Had_ being the operative word.

He'd sliced his finger on the morning paper, and then it had glowed red and disappeared.

This left Kaito sitting at the breakfast table staring at his finger for a good ten minutes, wondering what. The. HELL. Had just happened. He could still feel the annoyingly painful cut, but the physical wound itself was gone.

His minor panic attack was interrupted by a demanding pounding on his front door.

Before even waiting for anyone to answer, Nakamori Aoko let herself in with the spare key. She stormed into the kitchen and glared down at Kaito. "Kaito's coming to school."

Kaito blinked, still holding his injured finger out up in the air. "B-But I…I'm still recovering from my near-death experience."

"Kaito's fine. You're coming to school, so go upstairs and get changed," Aoko snorted. "Hurry up. We're going to be late! Does Aoko have to get the mop?"

"Nope. I feel like I'm suddenly making a miraculous recovery right this very second," Kaito replied, really not in the mood to be beat to death with the mop. He rushed up the stairs, threw on his gakuran, and grabbed his books.

Aoko gave a satisfied nod once he had complied with her orders. And then, all at once, her face fell. "Aoko's really angry at Kaito, you know?"

The magician gulped, wondering what in the world he'd done this time. He hadn't even seen her in two weeks. Maybe that was it. "Look, Aoko, I'm really sorry that I haven't called or dropped by or anything. I've really just been—"

"—That's not it," she retorted sharply, hands turning into fists as she squeezed her eyes shut, tears forming at the corners. "Kaito almost died!"

Dropping his gaze to the floor, Kaito nodded. "Yeah. Sorry."

"No. No you're not!" she snapped. "Kaito went out there knowing he could get killed! How could you?! How could you gamble with your life like that?! …Don't you care?" her voice deflated into a weak whimper as she continued through tears. "Doesn't Kaito care about us at all? Hakuba-kun…Chikage-san…Edogawa-kun…Dad…Aoko… It doesn't feel good to be the one left behind, Kaito…. Kaito should know that."

He shifted uncomfortably under her disappointed, betrayed gaze. "Aoko, it's not like that. People go to Kid heists all the time. No one ever gets hurt—it's the rule for crying out loud! What happened to me was a fluke. I—"

"—No!" Aoko's voice regained its strength as she snapped at him again. "It wasn't a fluke. There's one person that does get hurt at Kid heists."

Kaito gulped. "What?"

"That bullet Kaito took was meant for Kid. Kid _never_ would have let Kaito get hurt. Kid would have taken that bullet for Kaito. Even if Kaito did get shot, Kid would have stayed and helped. Kid would never run while his biggest fan bled out. _Kid_ is the only one that ever gets hurt at Kid heists. Isn't that right, Kaito?"

"I…" had to think faster than that. What could he say? What could he do to shake her off?

"It's like we learned at school, isn't it? Logic. The commutative property. 'All men are mortal. Socrates is a man. Therefore, Socrates is mortal.' Only Kid gets hurt at heists. Kaito got hurt at a heist. Therefore…Kaito is Ki—" she choked on the word, hands going to cover her face as she cried.

"Not anymore," he whispered, heart breaking as he watched her sob. "I've accomplished what I became Kid to do, and now I'm done. The people that killed Dad are done for, and they can't hurt anybody else, so I'm done, Aoko. I had my reasons. I swear I—"

"—You think Aoko cares?!" She was back to shouting and righteous anger again. She shoved him away, taking four giant strides before turning on him once more. "Who cares why?! Kaito went out and got shot at! Kaito got hurt and almost died even!"

Kaito blinked. "You're not mad that I lied to you, you're mad that I got hurt?" He couldn't believe it.

"No! Yes! Aoko doesn't know!" Aoko was about ready to pull her hair out. "All Aoko knows is that when she heard Kaito had been shot…when she realized that Kaito had been going behind her back and lying to her…Aoko didn't care. Yes, she was angry and hurt, but…Aoko just didn't want Kaito to be dead…. When the doctors said it was no good…that it was too late…Aoko just thought that she'd give anything to have Kaito back, and now…here you are."

He nodded, giving her a weak smile. "Yeah. I promise not to do it again."

She laughed through tears, smiling back. "Bakaito. You're such an idiot." She ran up to him, throwing her arms around him and holding him tight.

"Yeah," he whispered, squeezing back. "The biggest. I really am sorry, Aoko."

"Aoko hates you." She squeezed him even harder. "But she still cares. She just won't be trusting Kaito anymore. He has to earn it back, and if he ever does anything stupid and dangerous again, Aoko's going to kill him herself."

"I wouldn't blame her," Kaito sighed into her hair. "He deserves it after everything he's done."

"We're going to be late to school, and it's all Kaito's fault," Aoko sniffled as she pulled back, mopping her face with her handkerchief.

"Thank you, Aoko." Kaito smiled softly.

She snorted, turning on her heel, but she was smiling too.

…

Kaito received a warm welcome from his classmates as soon as he walked through the door. The girls fawned and cooed over him while the guys gave him noticeably lighter than normal claps on the back and playful shoves.

They urged him to recount the story in his usual theatric style, but he declined, claiming he wasn't quite up to it yet. Instead, he set his stuff down at his seat and headed over to Hakuba's desk.

"You're back," the Englishman noted with a barely disguised look of delight. "How are you feeling? Your eyes are a little bit more red than they were the other day."

Kaito's expression quickly darkened as he thought back to his paper cut. "I'm…okay…I think. I'm still feeling a little off, but…I think I'm gonna be okay."

Saguru's grin faltered slightly. "Just…let me know if there's anything I can do for you…okay, Kuroba?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Kaito quickly recovered his poker face, smiling genuinely at the blonde. He shouldn't worry Hakuba. The blonde was already concerned enough, according to Shinichi. "I'm sure it's nothing. I'll be fine. Thanks, pal."

"Not at all," Saguru assured.

"It's not 'nothing'," a smooth, cold voice interrupted.

Kaito turned to find Koizumi Akako looking at him in wide-eyed fright. Her face was much paler than usual.

"W-What?" Kaito blinked rapidly. The stark contrast to Akako's normal haughty and superior behavior was kind of freaking Kaito out.

"Come with me," she whispered, lightly grabbing hold of Kaito's forearm.

Kaito assured a fretful-looking Hakuba that everything was fine before following Akako up to the roof.

"So…what do you know about all of this?" Kaito sighed, leaning up against the fence surrounding the roof.

The witch shook her head slowly. "Your aura is different. It's completely changed, Kuroba-kun."

Kaito shrugged with a snort. "So? You're always going on about my aura being weird. How is this any different?"

"You don't get it," Akako sighed in impatience. "This is serious, Kuroba-kun. Auras can oscillate, like yours often does, but they don't just up and transform like yours has. Pretend your aura is a color. Purple, because that's what it was. Before, when I said that your aura was strange, I meant that it was lighter or darker or heavier or hazier or weaker or stronger than normal. When I say your aura has completely changed, I mean it went from being purple to blood red. Auras just don't do that overnight, Kuroba-kun. It takes years of personal growth for an aura to change color. Yours has changed shape too. It doesn't even look like a human aura now! Just what happened to you, Kuroba-kun?"

Kaito swallowed hard. "I…died…and then I think a legendary stone rumored to grant immortality brought me back to life. Is that…is that even possible?"

Akako's eyes widened as her mouth dropped open. She covered it with her hands and shook her head. "Oh, Kuroba-kun…"

"No," Kaito laughed in terror. "Stop. I mean…that stuff's not…not real. It's not actually…" He gulped again as he thought of all of the supposedly impossible things he had witnessed since becoming Kid. "I'm not…I mean I can't be…not human…right? I'm not immortal."

"I don't know," Akako whispered. "What was the name of the stone?"

"Pandora." Kaito shrugged, feeling sick to his stomach. "I don't feel any different. I don't look any different besides…the eyes…."

"I don't know," she admitted. "I'll have to ask around…my coven…Lucifer."

"Dammit," Kaito hissed, running a hand through his hair.

"Kuroba-kun?" Akako called softly. "You're still you, you know. Even if…even if you're different, your mortality isn't what defines you. Being mortal isn't all that makes up being 'Kuroba Kaito'. I'll see what I can find out. Until then…don't panic, okay?" Even as she said that, her face betrayed her fear.

He nodded. "Thanks."

…

Akako had left right after their little rooftop chat, leaving Kaito to figure out just what the heck he was going to do now. After staring up at the crisp, blue December sky for a good…he wasn't quite sure how long, Kaito made his way back down to the classroom in a daze.

He slumped down into his desk, resting his head on his arms and closing his eyes. He didn't even hear Aoko's mutters of concern or see the worry and anxiety in Hakuba's topaz eyes.

Immortal.

He couldn't be…but…what if?

He felt sick. Despite the chill in the early-winter air, it was unreasonably hot all of the sudden. He couldn't breathe.

What if he really was immortal now? What did that even mean? Okay. He'd gotten shot and died. Now he was back with red eyes and no bullet wound to show for it. This morning he'd cut his finger, there'd been a flash of red, and the cut had disappeared. Did that mean he was impervious to harm? The wounds had vanished, but there had still been pain. If he got shot again, he'd sure as hell feel it, even if he didn't end up with scars from the experience.

What would happen if he died again? Would he be resurrected a second time? Would there really never be an end? Would he just keep coming back over and over and never be able to rest in peace?

Would he just keep going and going and living and living even beyond the point in time where there was a place for "Kuroba Kaito" in this world? What would he do then? Would he just keep living as his family and friends…everyone he knew and cared about…died and left him alone?

Oh God. He'd be alone…all alone for the rest of eternity. Nonononono. No. He couldn't survive that way, awash in a sea of strangers, never feeling connected to anyone ever again. He'd go insane.

He supposed he could try to forge new bonds, but it would never be the same, would it? He'd never be able to have a shared past with these new people like he did with his mom, Aoko, Hakuba, or Tantei-kun…Shinichi.

Wait. Say Kaito really was immortal... Did that also mean he was never going to get old? What if he just kept aging and aging until there was nothing left but dust? What a horrible way to go! But…at least it would finally be an end, right? Unless he became a sentient pile of dust.

Holy freaking crap no! If that was the case, he was going out and finding an f-ing rock that cried tears of eternal youth right this very minute. He was not going out that way! Screw turning into dust and becoming one with the earth. That hippie stuff was totally overrated! He'd rather be eighteen forever, thank you very much!

…But would he really? Did he really want eternal youth? Could he take it? Not only would he be left alone after everyone he loved had died, but even while they were still alive, they'd leave him behind, growing older and moving on while he remained eighteen…forever.

Sure, Kaito could use his skill at disguise to appear to age, but it'd be a lie. Could he live yet another lie? Maybe, but could he do it every day for the rest of his life? No. No, he couldn't.

And people were bound to notice. If he stayed in one place for too long and didn't age, people would start poking their noses. He'd be caged like a beast, poked and prodded and studied by doctors, dissected by scientists…forever. He'd be labeled a freak, a monster! They'd try to kill him. And they'd fail to…forever. They'd torture him! Forever! He'd be locked up for eternity until he snapped and finally lost his mind!

They'd steal his freedom, strip him of his humanity. Everything was going to be stolen from Kaito—from his mother and friends to even the open sky. He was doomed to spend his days in a little room with a tiny barred window that tortured him with the hope of freedom in the form of a glimpse of the outside world he so longed for.

Until he went mad, anyway. How long would that take? He was already slightly unhinged.

Right. Turning to dust and traveling the world on the wind was suddenly sounding a whole lot more appealing. If he even lasted that long. What if he died again? He had been lucky that the doctors had wrote his first resurrection off as a fluke, a medical miracle. Would he be so lucky a second time? If yes, then how about the third? How many times could he get away with dying and miraculously recovering before they locked him up and started poking him with sticks? He had a feeling that his luck would run out sometime around resurrection number three, and he'd be under a microscope before you could say "the walking dead".

It was becoming apparent that Kaito may not last long enough to say goodbye to his loved ones and turn to dust.

And Kaito was absolutely terrified. Visions of torture and imprisonment and death and tragedy swirled around in his head, repeating and echoing one another, round and round like a snake swallowing its own tail.

He felt hot. No. Now cold. Hot again. Sweaty. Clammy. Sick. Oh, so sick. Scared. Mom? Dad? Hot. Suffocating.

The air suddenly felt like pudding, too thick to breathe. All the while his stomach turned and churned and twisted itself athletically into intricate knots.

He flew to his feet, straight up out of his desk. He had to get away. Get fresh air. Breathe, damn it all. He tried to mumble an excuse to the teacher, but his mouth suddenly felt like it was full of peanut butter. His words came out garbled.

The room blurred—streaks of color across his vision in odd, vaguely human shapes like some kind of impressionist painting.

Abruptly he found himself off balance.

The room was moving. Which was funny because he knew it wasn't. Rooms didn't just decide to rotate like a barrel down a hill on its side out of nowhere. Regardless of the fact that he _knew_ the room wasn't moving, it still felt like it was. He was trapped in the optical illusion, and he swayed, unable to keep his balance.

The last thing he saw was a smear of yellow, gold and bright like the sun. He fell towards it, into it, and it was sturdy but soft. Warm. A comfortable warmth before everything turned black and red.

…

Mikau: Why is it that getting a paper-cut always leads Kaito to some life-shattering discovery? That's the second time (the first being in CTM where "The Paper-Cut is actually the chapter title). Anyway, what do we think? I'm dying to know. It seems like a lot happened this chapter with the brief HakuShin scene, the talk between Kaito and Aoko, and the beginning of poor Kaito's breakdown. I had a lot of fun playing around in Kaito's head. I hope it came out well. Thanks so much for reading guys. Have a great day!


	4. Disintegration

Mikau: Hi guys! Thanks so much to my awesome reviewers from last chapter: Assasin8, patternleap, MeitanteiRose, and Bunnyz-chan! I really appreciate all of the support and patience while I work on getting the chapters up. I'd update faster, if I could. I wish I had more time for writing. School is going well, though, and work is…you know, work. At least I have a fun job until I graduate and get on with a law firm. Anyway, on with the show!

Disclaimer: Okay, so in past disclaimers I've noted the horrible English in Detective Conan. I would like to retract my statement in regards to the London arc (around episode 616). I could actually understand the "English" as well as the Japanese speaking for once. It was a HUGE improvement. _Conan's_ English is even sounding a little better. Good job guys! That being said, I still don't own anything. Drat.

…

Chapter Four: Disintegration

Everything was still and quiet, still soft and warm, but not in the same way that the streak of yellow before he'd passed out had been.

Kaito could feel pillows and sheets and the heat of his own body trapped beneath the covers.

It felt like he had cotton stuffed in his ears. He could hear someone speaking softly, but he couldn't make out what they were saying it was so muted. They were off to his right, not more than an arm's length away.

He could tell they were close because they were currently stroking his hair lovingly. It was nice, comfortable and reassuring. It made him feel safe and reminded him of his father. Whenever Kaito had been sick as a child, Touichi had sat by his beside and stroked his hair just like this.

He leaned into the touch, nuzzling the wrist of the person petting him.

The hand retreated as suddenly as if Kaito had snapped at it.

He made a little sad noise, scooting a bit further in the direction of that comforting hand. When he didn't find it, he persuaded his own arm to come out from under the warm oasis the covers provided and reach out blindly to his right until flesh met fabric—clothing. He groped until he found the arm and then pulled it back to him, silently demanding to be coddled some more.

Very reluctantly the soft stroking motions continued, and Kaito drifted back to sleep.

Someone's phone was ringing, bringing Kaito back into awareness.

He fought it. He didn't want to wake up. He had a feeling that something unpleasant was waiting for him on the other side of consciousness, and he had no desire to deal with it. He struggled to stay asleep, but it was a losing battle.

Oh well. It wasn't like he had to open his eyes. He could always just lie there in bed until he drifted off again. No one could force him to get up. And at least that marvelous hand was still doing its job. He gave a little sigh of contentment as it scratched behind his ear.

"Oh, no. Sorry. I am…not at home yet."

Kaito could now clearly make out the voice from before, but he just couldn't place it in his current sleepy haze. He had a feeling that he'd be kicking himself later; he _knew_ this voice.

"Still at school, unfortunately."

Hakuba. That was Hakuba. He'd know that soft, amber voice anywhere.

Wait. Did that mean that Hakuba was the owner of Kaito's new favorite hand? Probably. Kaito was slightly surprised when the realization didn't come with any knee-jerk reaction of "Ick!"

He had no problem with Hakuba liking guys. He personally kind of had a growing thing for Shinichi at the moment, after all; however, he was slightly uncomfortable with the fact that Kaito was himself the object of Hakuba's desire. And yet, Kaito really didn't mind Hakuba's current display of affection. So long as those nimble fingers didn't stop, anyway.

"Something came up, Shinichi."

Shinichi? Suddenly Kaito's ears perked up.

"Kaito's collapsed."

_Kaito_? "Kaito"? Was Kaito only "Kuroba" to his face? Of course he was. The guy was in love with him. Of course Hakuba called him "Kaito" behind his back. But…he called him Kaito in front of Shinichi?

"It looks like he's just overheated. Between the nurse and me, we couldn't find anything wrong, so I believe he's going to be alright, but…I'm still worried. I'm going to make sure he gets home alright after he wakes up. I don't know how much longer it will be, but…I'm terribly sorry Shinichi. I know we were supposed to see that movie and go to dinner together tonight, but…"

"Don't worry about it. We'll reschedule," Shinichi assured from the other end of the line, forcing a smile into his voice, pretending it didn't hurt. The two years he had spent constantly acting as Conan were paying off. "Kaito's more important," he concluded through gritted teeth, smile contorting into more of a grimace, before abruptly hanging up.

He couldn't inject nonchalance and understanding into his voice any longer. Shinichi knew that Saguru loved Kaito. He was rooting for them. He was actively pushing them together. Why was it still hard? Why did it still hurt so much?

"…Hello? Shinichi?" Saguru blinked thrice before muttering, "I think he hung up on me."

"What movie were you gonna go see?" Kaito mumbled, voice still sounding groggy.

"K-Kuroba!" the blonde yelped, reeling back like he'd received an electric shock, upsetting his chair in the process.

"Morning," Kaito chuckled, a lazy, lopsided grin lighting up his face. "What's going on?" He looked around the nurse's office with a vague interest while the detective got his wits about him.

Kaito raised an eyebrow when he found Aoko fast asleep several beds away from him. She was rolling around and carrying on softly in her sleep, so he figured that she was fine, not sick or anything. She was probably just taking a nap while waiting for him to get his lazy butt up.

What time was it anyway? The sun was going down, so maybe around five o'clock? He was sure the human timepiece could tell him more precisely, if he asked.

"How are you feeling, Kuroba?" Hakuba inquired tentatively, settling into his seat once more.

"Me? I'm fine." Kaito shrugged, rolling up into a seated position. "You don't need to wait around to escort me home or anything. Go have fun with Shin-chan. If he hung up on you, he's probably upset that you canceled on him."

"Nonsense," Hakuba scoffed. "Shinichi understands completely, given the circumstances. There's no logical reason for him to be upset. More likely he suddenly stumbled across a corpse."

Kaito tried to stifle his fit of giggles, but it proved to be no use. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Knowing Shin-chan, the dead body scenario is much more likely."

"Anyway, are you _sure_ you're feeling alright, Kuroba?" Saguru's brow creased as he resumed fretting. "I must admit that you gave me an awful fright today, and Aoko-kun has been besieged by guilt, believing that she forced you to come back to school before you had fully recovered and that _that_ is the reason why you collapsed. She blames herself."

Kaito blinked slowly, staring wide-eyed at his friend. "Wait. What? What happened? My memory's a little fuzzy from the point after I got to school this morning."

Hakuba's frown deepened. "You seemed fine enough until you went off with Koizumi-san. After you returned…you looked quite ill. You had your head down for a while, but then all of the sudden you shot straight up and fell in a dead faint only moments later. I barely had time to make my way to your side to catch you. You've been sleeping since then."

It all came back at once, hitting Kaito like an airbag.

"Oh God," he gasped as those hellish visions of imprisonment and torture and eternity came back to him.

"Kuroba?" Saguru was on his feet, glued to Kaito's side in a spilt second.

The magician's face had visibly paled in a matter of milliseconds, going from a rosy flush to a sick, wane shade the color of old candle wax. His eyes dilated in terror, and his entire body began to shake as he broke into a cold sweat.

Kaito's lungs were constricting again. He just couldn't manage to get a full breath, and it left him gasping. His heart going at an all-out sprint; he could hear it pounding in his ears like the police on the door.

Adrenaline was pumping through his body, urging him to flee to safety, but there was nowhere to go—nowhere to hide, no place "safe".

"Kuroba!" Hakuba was calling him, but Kaito couldn't hear over his own deafening heartbeat. The detective shook him, but Kaito was too lost in the nightmare to feel those strong hands on him.

"Kuro—Kaito! Kaito, look at me!" Saguru demanded, taking the hysterical teen by the cheeks and forcing the boy he loved to meet his gaze. "Kaito, it's okay. It's okay. I'm right here," he assured, climbing up onto the bed to get close enough to pull Kaito to his chest, as if he could hold the shattering thief together by physically holding him.

Saguru ran his hands over Kaito's face and hair and arms and back, resuming the motions that the brunette had found so pleasant while half-asleep. "Shh…you're okay," he insisted, and it seemed to help. "Kaito, listen to me. It's just a panic attack. Your body's going berserk on you, but you can take back control. Just calm down and breathe. Breathe, Kaito. Nice and slow. You're fine. You're safe. Nothing's going to hurt you."

Kaito's breathing gradually started to even out as he forced the nightmarish images away and focused on Hakuba's voice, tuning into that as he clung to the other teen like a flotation device. He felt like he was being kept afloat by a dinky lifesaver in the middle of a typhoon out at sea.

"You're okay, Kaito. I've got you, and I wouldn't let anything hurt you, right?"

"_Right,"_ Kaito was unable to get out verbally. _"You'd fight them off with your teeth and your fingernails, if you had to, before you'd let them get to me."_

"See. All you have to do is ride it out," Saguru whispered, still stroking Kaito's hair soothingly. "That's it. Just breathe, Kaito. Almost there."

"Un," Kaito grunted into Saguru's shoulder, still trembling like a newborn kitten and clutching Hakuba like he were the only thing keeping Kaito from going over the edge of a cliff sans glider.

"See. You're alright, Kuroba," Hakuba whispered rubbing his palm in circles on Kaito's back.

Kaito went limp in Saguru's arms, only weakly hanging on, grasping little handfuls of the other boy's school uniform as he came down from the chemical high caused by his haywire body.

He absentmindedly noted that he had gone back to being "Kuroba". He'd liked being "Kaito". It wasn't necessarily that he wanted to be "Kaito" to Hakuba; it was more that being called by his first name was comforting. It made him feel safe, reminding him of his parents. It made him feel like everything was under control. Hakuba had sure sounded like he'd had control of the situation.

And that reminded Kaito that he was currently latched on to a guy that was head over heels for him. This had to be rather embarrassing and uncomfortable for Hakuba…or the guy could be loving it. Though, even if Hakuba were enjoying having Kaito draped over him like a dustcover, it was bound to get uncomfortable and embarrassing sooner or later because the uniform pants were kind of tight and didn't do a thing to disguise it when the male students had a problem.

Actually, Kaito should probably let go. He should pull himself together, crazy glue his poker face on, and get his butt home to have his psychological breakdown in the comfort and privacy of his own bedroom. He shouldn't be crumbling like this in front of Hakuba. The stupid blonde would worry. He shouldn't be plastered to the lovesick teen's body. It might give the poor sap false hope. It was bad to lead your friends on.

Kaito found himself not really caring about what he should or shouldn't do. He felt like fecal matter, and he was scared out of his wits. All he wanted was to feel safe and comforted. Screw Hakuba's needs; Kaito was falling apart here!

He buried his face in the crook of Hakuba's neck and pressed his body closer to the blonde's, prompting the detective to tighten his hold with one arm while the other hand was still busy patting and stroking and rubbing.

It was then that Kaito came to the realization that he was really too selfish and immature to be in a serious relationship. He was too concerned about his own well-being and too wrapped up in his own issues. What was he thinking, considering pursuing Shinichi when Kaito was still such a self-centered kid?

He slowly detached himself from Hakuba, eyes cast down as he hung his head in shame. "…S-Sorry. Thanks, Hakuba."

"Not at all," the Brit assured, slowly retracting. He bit his lip and replied hesitantly, "And…there's no need to apologize, Kuroba. This is nothing to be ashamed of. I myself have experienced panic attacks in the past, and I assure you that I don't mind in the least. I'm your friend, and I'm here for you."

Hakuba's words just made Kaito feel ill. The blonde was so noble and selfless and kind, and Kaito wasn't a very good friend at all. Kaito just felt like he was using Hakuba—to get closer to Shinichi, for comfort, for security, despite knowing the way that Hakuba felt about him….

Guilt. Kaito felt an overwhelming sense of guilt mixed with a hefty dose of shame.

"T-Thank you, Hakuba," Kaito returned shakily, urging a weak smile onto his lips. "You're the best friend a guy could ask for, and I honestly don't deserve it, so…thank you. I owe you again."

"You owe nothing," Hakuba declared, fixing him with a steady, even stare.

The intensity in those eyes unsettled Kaito. It was there for a second, but in the time it took Kaito to blink, it had disappeared to be replaced by a sheepish look.

"We should get you home, Kuroba. Is your mother there? I tried calling your home phone earlier, but no one answered either time."

"N-No. She's…in LA…I think." Kaito was suddenly regretting sending her away. He wanted his mommy. But maybe it was better this way. Chikage had been a wreck after Kaito's death experience. What would it do to the poor woman to see her son falling to pieces?

No. Kaito had to get it together on his own. He couldn't worry people like this. They'd start getting suspicious and asking questions and trying to help. And then they'd have him committed if he started telling them he was immortal because a rock with magic powers had cursed him. He'd be locked up for sure. _Forever_. Kaito had to get a handle on the situation on his own.

"I'm okay, though. I can get home by myself." He slammed down his poker face and smiled cheerfully at the blonde. "Thanks, though, Hakuba."

This almost schizophrenic shift caused the detective to frown in suspicion. "I should think not, Kuroba. I'd be remiss if I should send you home to an empty house in your current condition. That's if you even manage to make it to your house safely."

"Hakuba, I'm _fine_," Kaito stressed with a chuckle designed to tell the other teen that Kaito believed that Hakuba was just being silly.

With a mirthless bark of laughter, Saguru rolled his eyes. "I tell you that you are _not_. Don't insult me by thinking that I can't see through your playacting, Kuroba. Either you are not fine and merely pretending to be so, or you have some kind of dissociative disorder and need medical attention. Normal, healthy people don't have a breakdown one minute and then laugh and smile like that the next, so which is it? I'm either taking you home or to the mental ward."

Thoughts of small, padded rooms; needles; shackles; and doctors with scalpels and probes overtook him once more. _"Forever."_

"No!" he shrieked, curling up into a little ball, clutching his head and shaking violently. "Please, no!"

Saguru gasped as he realized what he had done. He threw his arms around the trembling teen once more and scrambled to calm his beloved. "Shh. It's okay, Kaito. It's okay. Shh. God, I am so sorry. I didn't mean it, I swear. It's alright. I would never let them lock you up, Kaito. I promise. You're fine." The detective tried to take the anxiety out of his own voice, pretending that he was calm in order to calm the panicking Kaito. "Everything's going to be okay. You're not going to the hospital, Kaito. No one's going to lock you up. I'm going to take you home, and I'm going to make you some hot chocolate…a nice dinner."

That seemed to work. Kaito was slowly coming down, and the shaking was subsiding.

"You're alright," Saguru whispered, hugging his thief and feeling afraid. He nuzzled those unruly, dark locks more to comfort himself than anything. "I've got you. I promise nothing's going to hurt you, Kaito."

Kaito went limp once more, riding out the aftershocks. Every once in a while he'd give a violent shiver, but mostly he just stayed there, as still as a stuffed animal in Hakuba's arms, letting the entirety of his weight rest against the detective.

"Kuroba…until your mother can get back to Tokyo, I'd prefer if you came and stayed with me so that I can take care of you in her absence."

"No," Kaito mumbled, shaking his head as vehemently as he could. He just didn't have the strength.

"Then…I'm afraid I'll have to make myself a nuisance at your house. I don't think you should be alone just at the moment. What would you prefer?"

Kaito closed his eyes with a deep, heavy sigh.

Honestly, he'd rather be alone in solitude to think this crazy mess out. He needed to think and plan and basically just pull himself back together. That was a messy process that he really didn't want anyone else to witness, be it his mother or Hakuba, but it was apparent that the blonde was under no circumstances leaving him to his own devices. If he had to have company, he'd rather it be on his own turf.

"My house," he muttered into Saguru's jaw, the movement of his lips sending tingles of pleasure through the other teen.

"Very well." Saguru attempted to remain cool and collected. "I'll call Baaya to come get us. In the meantime, why don't you lie down and rest while I attempt to wake Aoko-kun? I'm actually astonished that's she's managed to stay asleep through all the shouting and mayhem."

Kaito did as requested and didn't bother informing the other guy that Aoko had been awake for a while now. He'd noticed because she had suddenly grown still instead of continuing to toss and turn. She was only pretending to be asleep for their sake. She didn't want Hakuba or Kaito to be embarrassed if they found out that she had seen Kaito's breakdown and Kaito clinging to Hakuba like that.

Kaito didn't say anything. It was probably better to keep up the pretense.

…

Mikau: More Shinichi next chapter in case you're missing him. And a little Conan too. I'm actually more accustomed to writing Conan than Shinichi, so this is a little weird for me. The way I see it, Shinichi can't really come back until after they defeat the Organization. But at that point, Kaito can no longer be Kid (unless, under some circumstances, he's still looking for Pandora). I usually write about before the Organization's defeat, so most of what I write is technically more KaiCo. Real KaiShin is different. I'm kind of having fun playing around with Shinichi. Thanks for reading, guys! Hopefully I'll see you soon.


	5. Truth Whispered in the Shadows

Mikau: Hey guys! Good to see you again! Presently I'm sick, so I just want to warn you that there might be more typos than usual; kindly ignore them, if you don't mind. I also want to let you know that updates on this one might not be as regular in the near future. I'm working really hard on CTM right now because I thought it was close to completion (now I'm getting ideas for all sorts of scenes after the BO takedown involving college and work…and babies, so it'll probably keep going for a long time still). At the same time, this one is being stubborn with me at the moment. The good news is that you can expect chapter two of The Healing Process in the next few days after I finish editing it. One final note: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter: patternleap, Bunnyz-chan, MeitanteiRose, Assasin8, Mercedes, farawisa, and GeekyGenius! All of your support and encouragement and constructive criticism is really appreciated, guys! Seeing so many reviews makes me feel like a real writer, so thank you sincerely. And now, on with the show.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd probably have it go on forever and ever and ever too.

…

Chapter Five: Truth Whispered in the Shadows

Kaito had dozed off again. When he came to, he was riding in the back of a cute little foreign car, propped up between Aoko and Hakuba, though, he was mostly leaning on the blonde for support.

"Kaito! How are you feeling?" Aoko was the first one to notice he was awake.

He looked around and yawned while he gave a stretch before his eyes focused on her. "Tired," he admitted before his brain caught up to him. "I'll be fine, though. I just need to rest."

Observing her frown of concern, Kaito smirked and flicked her cheek softly. "Ahoko. What's that expression for? You're not _worried_ about me, are you? I told ya: I'll be fine."

His attempts to rile her up in order to distract her didn't seem to be working, and that simply wouldn't do. Aoko was to be either smiling cheerfully or screaming in an outburst of rage. This bout of worry was unacceptable.

"What? Don't believe me? What do I have to do to prove it? Flip your skirt?" he tittered in an inappropriate little chuckle. "Should I show Hakuba what kind of underwear you're sporting today?"

"Perverted jerk," Aoko huffed, crossing her arms and turning to look out the window.

He was surprised she hadn't smacked him.

"Obviously Kaito is just fine, if his mind has time to be in the gutter," she snorted.

"Told ya so," Kaito chuckled.

"This is Aoko's house right here, Baaya," Aoko informed the matronly driver.

The car stopped, and Aoko got out, still steaming. "Good luck with that Bakaito, Hakuba-kun." The door slammed.

Saguru hummed in thought.

"What?" Kaito mumbled, letting his mask fall off as he set his head back down on the taller teen's shoulder.

"I can't decide if I think you're a bad friend for lying and manipulating her like that or if I think you're sweet for caring so much about her to go to the lengths you do to trick her into not worrying," the detective reported.

"I'm an absolute bastard with a heart of gold." Kaito shrugged.

"She can take it, you know. She's a strong young woman; you don't have to shut her out like that," Saguru quietly shared his opinion.

Kaito shook his head. "Yeah, but she shouldn't have to…take it, I mean. She deserves a perfect little world where her mom stayed and her childhood friend turned into an honest, dependable, loving boyfriend. She deserves 'happily ever after', not this trashy reality that she's got."

"And so you put on your mask and push her away from you, keeping her at arm's length so that you don't make things quote, unquote 'worse'?" Hakuba raised an eyebrow, staring right at Kaito…right through Kaito.

Kaito closed his eyes and shrugged. "What good would come of letting her in?"

Hakuba hummed again. "The poor girl would be less confused all the time and unsure of where she stood with you…. Thank you, though…for letting me in, Kuroba."

"You forced your way in with a crowbar," Kaito muttered ruefully, still wishing for solitude in which to sort things out.

"Thank you for letting me stay," Saguru revised, a slight smile coming to his lips.

"Against my better judgment," Kaito grumbled.

"This is your house right here, is it not?" Hakuba gave no indication that he had heard Kaito's grumblings.

"Yeah," Kaito sighed, lifting his head and looking at the empty house. He wanted his mo—no. It was better not to get his mother involved. His dad. He wanted his dad so bad right now.

Thanking Baaya, Saguru removed the last of the luggage from the car and turned to help Kaito from the vehicle.

Kaito had insisted that he was fine, but the blonde was every bit as stubborn as the magician, and so Kaito was forced to lean heavily on Saguru for support as they made their way up the drive and into the house.

"You can show me to the guestroom later," Hakuba informed without having been prompted. "I'd like for you to have some dinner first, since you haven't eaten in quite some time. Baaya was good enough to bring us some dishes to heat up, if you'd be so kind as to show me to your kitchen?"

"Just straight back." Kaito nodded to indicate the direction. He gradually pulled himself to his feet, up off of the couch, and slowly led the way.

He felt so stiff. He really hadn't moved much all day.

Dinner was eaten in relative silence, and then they made their way back into the living room to sit on the couch and stare at the television as the newscasters went on about something that neither of them cared much about.

"You know…you can talk to me, Kuroba. I am your friend, and I will listen," Saguru finally broke the silence.

Kaito continued to stare straight ahead, curled up around a throw pillow, reclining against the arm of the couch.

"…But you don't have to," Saguru sighed, letting go of the breath he had been holding. "I just…I merely wish for you to know that I am here, if you have need of me…. That's all."

"…Thanks." Kaito replied with a light smile, finally turning to look at the other teen. "Look…Hakuba…" Kaito bit his bottom lip. "…It's not…I don't…I don't know how to talk about it. I'm kind of still wrapping my own head around things, so…"

Was it just Kaito or did Hakuba look slightly happier and relieved?

"Right," the detective replied with a soft smile. "Well, I'd be more than happy to act as your sounding board, if you should ever have need."

Kaito wasn't sure that he'd ever be able to talk about it. It was just too surreal, and he had no proof, only legends and anecdotal evidence. Would Hakuba think he was nuts and turn on him? The last thing Kaito wanted was to be locked up in the psych ward, even if Hakuba believed it was for Kaito's own good.

He wasn't sure how much he really wanted to confide in Hakuba, but what he did know was that the Brit was a good, noble man that would gladly go through hell for Kaito and put up with Kaito's crap day in and day out. What Kaito did know was that he wanted to protect the blonde, keep him smiling.

"Thanks, Hakuba." Kaito returned the smile gently with a manufactured grin of his own. "I'll keep that in mind."

They slipped now into a comfortable silence as Kaito turned on the cop drama—Metropolitan Police Detective Love Story—that he had watched the previous week with Shinichi.

Just as the next episode preview finished, Kaito pretended to stifle a sleepy yawn that he had concocted for the detective's benefit.

"Hey, Hakuba? I'm kind of beat. You don't have to turn in, but can I give you a quick rundown of the house so that I can hit the hay?" Kaito let his eyes droop so that they were half-lidded and drowsy-looking in the dim light.

"Of course," the unsuspecting Hakuba easily agreed, eager to even go so far as to capture the moon and stars for the ex-thief if that were Kaito's whim. Anything for Kaito. Anything if it'd make Kaito happy. He didn't suspect that he was being played.

Kaito's haywire emotions were loosely under wraps at the moment, and the calm and calculating magician was not above lying…bending the truth…let's call it "acting" in order to get what he wanted—_needed_ at this point.

Kaito desperately needed to get away from the well-meaning detective so that he could sort things out and get some kind of plan in order. Hakuba would never knowingly leave Kaito alone to his thoughts, but he wouldn't be so rude as to force his way into Kaito's bedroom in order to keep watch, so all Kaito had to do was pretend to go to bed for the night. Then he would finally have the privacy and peace he'd been longing for.

Kaito debated locking his bedroom door behind him, but, upon second consideration, he saw no real need. Hakuba did not need to be kept out. The simple act of closing the door created enough of a barrier between them.… And Kaito wasn't yet certain that he himself wanted to be kept in. He was still considering it.

If he never left his bedroom, nothing bad could happen to him…except that he'd be effectively jailing himself. He would be the warden, and his bedroom would become his prison. After the first decade, he'd probably lose it. There may not be scary doctors and scientists to torture him here, but he could psychologically do himself in, of that he was sure.

With a sigh he shrugged out of his school clothes, letting them lie in a little mound on the floor. He slid into his pajamas and burrowed deep into his covers, burying his head under the pillow.

Now what? That was the question.

He pushed down the surge of fear and his flight response, shaking off a third panic attack's grip. He didn't have time for another breakdown. Now was his opportunity to plan. Nothing bad was going to happen to him now. He was safe at home with Hakuba standing between him and any kind of harm at the moment. Now was the time to think.

Now what? The question replayed in a loop.

Well, what were the options? He could stay in his room for the rest of eternity. Not an appealing proposition. Kaito was a free spirit, a wild sparrow; he couldn't cage himself like a canary. Besides, people regrettably cared about him, and they'd come ferret him out. That or at least make a nuisance of themselves often enough that Kaito would be driven mad and prompted to escape.

He could try to just carry on with his life, pretend that Pandora never happened and go on being a normal teenager to the best of his abilities. Well, you know—"normal" for Kaito…but…could he do that? Could he _really_ do that? Gifted actor Kaito was, but he didn't think he could go into denial of _that_ magnitude.

Kaito took a deep breath and pulled the pillow down more tightly over his head. He couldn't deal with this. How did others cope with earth-shaking, life-altering events? Like cancer patients or people diagnosed with terminal illnesses?

He knew some people started to self-destruct. Maybe he should go on drinking binges, start doing drugs, or have a string of one night stands? That's what people did, wasn't it? When they found out they were dying and none of it mattered?

What did people do when they found out they were going to live forever?

"_Live forever in a cage, treated like a science experiment,"_ he amended.

But that part was only as soon as other people found out that he was immortal. If he could keep it a secret…if Kaito could just pretend everything was fine…normal…

…

Kaito sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for air as if he'd had his head forcibly held underwater.

He'd never meant to actually fall asleep. He had firmly intended to stay up all night, staring blankly at the ceiling while he chased his figurative tail on the issues at hand—namely: what now?

Raking a hand through his disheveled, slightly damp, sweaty hair, Kaito took a look around his room…only it wasn't his room. He was in a dark, empty cell, bare of any kind of furnishings other than the hard cot he was currently occupying. The walls were made of rough cement, grimy and grey, and not very homey. The only thing breaking up the disheartening monotony was a small, barred window.

Shaking off the covers as they caught and tangled around Kaito's ankle, the teen rushed to the window, gripping the bars and peering out, frantically searching for some clue as to his location.

Kaito was met with a shadowy, but otherwise nondescript landscape and a Pandora-red moon cut into a disconcerting crescent. It seemed to be smirking sinisterly at him.

With a gulp, Kaito backed slowly away from the window, instead turning his attentions towards the door to his prison. It was locked as he knew it would be, so he set about opening it.

"Stand back!" a commanding voice warned from the other side, and Kaito did as bid just as the door in question was kicked in.

Standing in the doorway was White Knight Hakuba Saguru. All he was missing was the horse. Kaito had to admit that his friend cut an impressive figure in armor.

"Hurry. They're coming." Hakuba hissed in that same authoritative tone, voice just above a whisper. He reached a hand out towards Kaito.

Without a second thought, Kaito took the hand and ran with Hakuba, letting the other teen take the lead.

"Who's coming?" Kaito was careful to keep his voice low.

They rounded a corner, and Hakuba abruptly stopped running, pulling Kaito so that the magician tripped, landing in the knight's waiting arms. "Shh," Hakuba warned, holding Kaito close.

Oddly enough, there was nothing romantic about the other boy's embrace. Hakuba was in protective mode right now. He was using his own body to shield Kaito, not attempting to put the moves on his crush.

It was then that Kaito heard the footsteps. It was the rumble of a thundering herd off in the distance but fast approaching. Hakuba pulled Kaito in even closer, and they held their breath as they waited for the stampede to pass.

"Your jailors," Hakuba muttered, reaching up to brush away a sweaty bang that had been stuck to Kaito's cheek. Aha. There was the romantic side of things.

"The ones that would have you dissected and studied while you were still alive and conscious," Hakuba elaborated, barely containing the quiet rage in his words. "I'm sorry it took me so long, Dove."

Kaito shrugged, feeling a lot more comfortable with Hakuba's body position and petname in his dream than he would have in real life. "It's okay. You found me. You're here now."

"Yes, and I'm going to get you out," his knight in shining armor swore.

"Lead the way, and I'll follow," Kaito returned.

With a nod, Hakuba took Kaito's hand once more and gently tugged the magician down the hall.

They continued on in silence for a while. Hakuba was obviously concentrating to recall the layout of the research facility, and Kaito was busy straining his ears for the sound of approaching footsteps. Every once in a while they'd turn a corner or cut through a room—most of them laboratories with very intimidating equipment. One such room turned out to be a simple meeting room. Once they arrived there, Hakuba released his hold on Kaito and breathed a sigh of relief.

"We'll wait here just a bit," the Brit explained.

Kaito nodded, taking a seat on the conference table. "So…I guess I should thank you for coming for me, so…thank you, Hakuba."

"Don't mention it," the knight sighed, sounding like he really didn't want Kaito to mention it.

Kaito licked his lips nervously under his friend's piercing gaze. Hakuba looked…kind of ticked off, and Kaito wasn't so sure he wanted to further provoke the blonde.

Finally the awkward silence got to be too much, and the Brit finally snapped, "Do you honestly think I'd cart you off to a place like this, if I found out your little secret, Kuroba? Do you truly think so little of me that I'd have you institutionalized, if you explained to me what was really going on? Frankly, I'm offended. I thought we trusted each other after all we've been through. Didn't our bond as Kid and Detective Hakuba mean anything to you? Didn't we have an unspoken code? Wasn't there trust between us and rituals and mutual agreements and…and…" Hakuba gave him a look of dejection, betrayal in his eyes. "I just thought we were better friends than that, Kuroba."

Kaito made himself look away, feeling guilty about his reservations towards Hakuba. Hadn't the detective proven himself already? "…Sorry. I just don't know how you'll react. You're ruled by logic, Hakuba. It'd break your brain if I told you about magical stones making people immortal."

"You forget that I _know_ already. I told you, didn't I? That your blonde accomplice filled in the holes in my deductions for me when we spoke while you were in the hospital," Hakuba snorted, placing his hands on his hips in defiance. "I _know_ about Pandora."

"How much do you know?" Kaito challenged. "You know I was looking for a rock within another stone, trying to find it first before the syndicate. Did she tell you the legends behind it? Do you believe the magic is real? Do you know it brought me back from the dead, or are you under the assumption that me surviving was just a medical miracle? Do you believe in miracles, Hakuba?" Kaito looked at his friend as his own heart pounded in his chest.

"I don't know." Hakuba shook his head sadly. "I am a mere projection of Hakuba Saguru…a shell. I can only tell you what you already know, Kuroba. Why don't you just ask me? I _love_ you. I'm sure I'd be more than willing to have a conversation…figure things out together. I just want you to be well. I want to help."

Kaito nodded, looking down at his dangling feet. "I guess I owe you that much. I could at least ask you…whenever I get up the nerve."

"Good. I'm glad." Hakuba chuckled softly, slowly approaching.

Kaito froze as their gazes met, like a mouse caught by a cobra. The innocent, warm, loving, sincere look in those eyes, one aqua and one honey, pinning him in place just as effectively as hands pressing down on his shoulders.

Hakuba leaned in, cupping Kaito's cheek. "Thank you, Dove," he cooed, lips drawing closer.

Kaito's brain was whirring. What to do? What to do? Did he pull back in fear and aversion? Did he sit still and allow Hakuba a prize for risking his life breaking in to break Kaito out? Or did he close his eyes and let it happen? Strangely enough, that last thought didn't rattle Kaito the way he thought it should have.

It turned out that Kaito never had to make the choice. Milliseconds before their lips met, Hakuba slumped forward, falling unconscious.

Kaito blinked. What?

"Were you seriously going to let him kiss you?" Edogawa Conan snorted, suddenly standing in the corner. He lowered his tranquilizer watch to put his hands on his hips, a definite pout growing on his lips and brow.

"T-Tantei-kun!" Kaito gasped, not doing anything to remove the sleeping Hakuba from his lap.

Conan rolled his eyes, coming over and pulling poor Hakuba off and to the ground. "Come on, Kid. Let's get a move on. They're coming."

Kaito really hated when dream Tantei-kun said that.

"We can't just leave Hakuba!" Kaito protested.

Conan rolled his eyes, indicating where the large detective had been lying seconds before.

Kaito looked, and Hakuba was gone. He blinked but didn't think about it too hard before taking Conan's proffered hand and obediently following the midget.

"I've missed you, you know," Kaito whispered as they padded through the winding halls.

"Why? You've been hanging out with Shinichi almost every day," Conan snorted, as if Kaito were being ridiculous.

"Yeah, but…we…you and I had a different relationship. Shinichi isn't _you_," Kaito stressed. "I see bits and pieces of you in him; you're very similar, but…it's like seeing a ghost or some kind of afterimage. You're there, but you're not there at the same time, and…I really miss my Tantei-kun."

Conan's furious pace slowed momentarily. "Yeah. It'll be different between us from now on, won't it? …But…just because it's different doesn't mean it can't still be good, you know?"

Kaito nodded. "I know you're right, Tantei-kun, but…it still feels like…like you're dead."

Conan slowed almost to a stop. "…Well, I'm not dead, so stop being so depressing." Conan gave Kaito's hand a light squeeze. "I'm right here, Kid."

"Tantei-kun…I feel lost," Kaito admitted as their pace picked up once more.

"That's only natural. We're trapped in another maze, after all." Conan tried to be flippant in order to raise Kaito's spirits.

"You know that's not what I meant," Kaito chuckled, appreciating his companion's efforts.

"Yeah. So?" Conan shrugged, tugging at Kaito to make him go faster. "Look. When I first…when I first became Conan, I felt lost too. That kind of happens when there are big changes. The whole time, though, I clung on to being a detective. By sinking my teeth into that part of my identity and refusing to let go, I helped ground myself in who I was. Doing that kept me from losing myself…losing my mind. You've got to cling…hold on. 'Immortal' is not the sole defining characteristic of who you are, Kid."

"I'm not 'Kid' anymore," Kaito replied sadly.

"Okay, so there are layers of loss. You've got to step back and process, okay?" Conan cast Kaito a glance of…concern was there predominantly, but there were layers to the look as well. Through Conan's eyes, the magician could see that the detective desperately wanted to help, but he was feeling lost and conflicted himself. Conan felt small and powerless in that little body.

"Okay?" Conan asked again when he didn't get a response the first time. "I'll even help you process, if you want."

"Okay," Kaito finally agreed, sparing the shrunken detective a little smile. "Thanks, Tantei-kun."

A bullet went whizzing through the air, taking a chunk out of the wall to Kaito's left.

Conan let out a string of curses that were comically mature for his eight year-old body. He ducked down an adjoining hall, pulling Kaito right behind.

They zigzagged, rounding corners and then suddenly veering off the other direction.

Kaito was glad that Conan seemed to know where the heck they were going. It all looked distressingly homogeneous to him.

They zipped around another corner and came face to face with Dark Knight Kudo Shinichi.

"Take him and go!" Conan instructed, releasing Kaito and rounding to face the oncoming threat. He readied his super-powered sneakers and leveled his tranq watch. "Hurry!"

"Tantei-kun!" Kaito shrieked as he was hauled off by Shinichi. He could only hope that Conan would disappear to safety once he was out of sight just like Hakuba had. He hoped really hard as several gunshots were fired.

"Shh," Shinichi soothed as he forced the other teen to come with him.

"He'll be okay, won't he?" Kaito whispered frantically as he heard the screams. "Won't he? It's just a dream, right? This is a dream? And I can wake up from it? How do I wake up? Is it like the other one where I just have to reach the exit? Is that how I wake up?"

Shinichi cast him a pitying look. "Kuroba…this is a nightmare. It'll let you out of its grip when it wants to and no sooner."

Kaito shuddered and kept running.

It was as quiet as a crypt again with only the sound of their footsteps echoing in the hallway. They had been going for what seemed like at least twenty minutes, but that was a long time to run in silence with no way of knowing how close their enemy was behind them. Shortly after that, Shinichi gradually slowed to a halt, opening a door and motioning Kaito inside.

Kaito blinked. It was a janitor's closet. But beggars couldn't be choosers, and who was he to argue? He got into the janitor's closet, and Shinichi followed along right behind him. It was actually kind of comfortable being in that small, enclosed space with his crush. It felt safe…safer than those expansive, maze-like halls from hell, anyway.

Shinichi cast Kaito a tired but warm smile. "Hey," he breathed.

"Hey," Kaito muttered in return, a blush rising on his cheeks. He could feel the warmth of Shinichi's breath on his face. They were so close in such tight quarters. If he leaned forward just a bit he could brush his lips to Shinichi's.

"How are you holding up?" The detective reached out and stroked Kaito's hair and face.

"_Brilliantly now. Couldn't be better,"_ Kaito mentally sighed, leaning into the touch. "I'm scared, Shin-chan."

"I know. I know what it's like to have to hide from everyone." Shinichi forced a brave smile. "I had to lie. My whole life was a lie, and it was horrible, living in fear like that. I couldn't tell anyone who I really was for fear of getting them mixed up in the madness and killed. I have some idea of what you're going through."

"What do you do? What did _you_ do? What do _I_ do, Shinichi?" Kaito pleaded for answers.

Before Shinichi could respond, the closet door was thrown open, torn off of its hinges.

"There you are!" Snake snarled, reaching out and taking Shinichi by the collar. He easily lifted the teen up to dangle in midair. Was it him, or did Snake seem a lot bigger in Kaito's nightmare?

"Shinichi!" Kaito screeched in horror, lunging at Snake. He was quickly apprehended and restrained by the trench-coated henchmen.

Snake threw Shinichi to the ground and dispatched him with a single round to his temple before turning on Kaito, who was currently screaming his lungs out. The villain chuckled, enjoying the sight of Kaito watching Shinichi's brains leaking out onto the floor along with a growing puddle of blood…Shinichi's cold, empty eyes looking more like the glass ones of a doll at this point.

"SHINICHI!" Kaito howled, struggling against his captors in vain.

"Let him go," Snake chuckled darkly.

Kaito raced to Shinichi's side, pulling the body into his arms and onto his lap. He grew suddenly quiet as he realized that it was no use.

Shinichi was gone.

Snake was laughing in amusement now as he grabbed Kaito by the throat. He ghosted a thumb over Kaito's eye and smiled a twisted, sick grin. "Now you're finally mine. Let's go, Pandora-chan."

…

Mikau: Bwhahaha! Actually, I feel bad being so evil to poor Kaito. Hmm. Well, the next chapter should be a little better. It's more from Hakuba's/Shinichi's prospective, and then in the chapter after that, they should all three be in the same room together! Gasp! Well, look forward to it, and thanks so much for reading thus far. Take care guys, and drop me a line, if you have a second. Thanks!


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